MARY SUE PEANUT BUTTER TIME

[Sirius Black!]

YES YOU DO. EVERYONE DOES. NO ONE CARES ABOUT SIRIUS. *cries feebly* I neeeeed to cut... I need the releeeassseeee.... *sobs*

[alecto mileena carrow]

- tries hopelessly - I do care about you. We all do. Don't hurt yourself, there are other ways to find your release... or at least that's what Sev keeps telling me... - hugs him tightly -

[Sirius Black!]

No! You don't care! You don't understand! MY FIANCEE LEFT ME! *wails and runs off a corner dramatically with arms and legs flailing* *turns head back to Alecto* AT LEAST YOU HAVE SNAPE!

[jamespotter]

*looks over sticking nose in air* No ... Black ... I have Snape ... He's mine!

[Sirius Black!]

YES, WELL, YOU'RE A PRAT ANYWAYS! NO ONE LIKES YOU! I'VE ACTUALLY HATED YOU FOR ALL THESE YEARS.
Well, regardless, whoever has Snape, I'm soo envious... he's so dreamy, and I'll never have him... *sobs and cuts forehead multiple times*

MAYBE I SHOULD JUST KILL MY BABY AND GET IT OVER WITH

[dorcas]

*Walks into room. Hair totally blowing out behin. Looking sexy as hell*
Silly window!
*super girly voice. closes the window. Hair drops beautifully and still looks perfect*
Hi everybody! Why all so glum?!
*smiles perfectly white, sparkling teeth*

[Sirius Black!]

*notices absolutely the most beautiful woman ever and grabbed onto her leg and hugs it with both arms and legs*
*sobs* BECAUSE YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND. NO ONE UNDERSTANDS.
WHY CAN'T ANYONE UNDERSTAND! *sobs*
*cuts Dorcas' leg so she can get release with him*

[dorcas]

*is shocked. wants to care for the poor depressed, tender creature clinging o her leg*
Oh no! Whatever is the matter?!
*has leg cut. screams madly*
OMG! Whatever have you done to me?
*tries to kick him off*

[Sirius Black!]

*holds on tight and doesn't allow Dorcas to kick him off*
*takes his forehead cut and places it with her leg cut*
WE ARE NOW JOINED FOREVERRR
YOU CAN BE MY WIFE.
I'M SO HAPPY.
MY LIFE IS PERFECT NOW.
..
...
...hey...
....hey you...
HAI *giggles and blushes*

[dorcas]

*high pitched horror movie scream. faints. wakes up*
Huh-huhllo? Wha-what happened? Am I still perfect?
*feels plastic breasts*
Oh phew, they're still there
*totally real and massive because she's so perfect. looks at Sirius*
Wat did you do to me?

[Sirius Black!]

*Watches Dorcas touch herself and gets semi-turned on.*
Nothing, darling. We're married is all.
*sly grin*
WE'LL BE TOGETHER FOREVA AND EVA EVA AND EVA EVA

[dorcas]

I'm married to Sirius Black? 4eva and eva?
*Squees*
Yay!
*clings to Sirius. holds tightly. kisses all over face*
You'll be mine for all time and we'll ride unicorns everywhere and wear necklaces with each others faces on and wedding rings with 'I love you' on them! And we'll have another wedding with everyone attending and we'll live happily ever after!
*squeezes tightly. whipsers*
you're mine now

[Sirius Black!]

*moves closer to her*
*whispers directly in her ear*
even after you're dead, you'll still be mine.
*creepy stare into her eyes*

[dorcas]

*creepy smile and creepy stare back*
You're dying with me. And we'll be together forever in hell!
*Less creepy grin*
Now lets go have babies by holding hands and not wearing a condom when we kiss!

[Remus John Lupin]

*limps in because he's so sad and scarred and ouch D:*

*instant!pout&sob*
I'm so alone, no one cares, apart from my friends but they're always busy doing other things oh woe is me and I don't use punctuation even though the REAL remus would and I dislike long words.
*pauses, then continues*
Oh, I'm so sad and I have scars but I can't tell aaaaanyone where I got them - my moms ill, my mom's ill D: