the sad thing is, he's right `REMUS & JAMES

[Sirius Black!]

Sirius had indeed spent the night in the cave. He was a heavy sleeper, so although he was uncomfortable, he managed to fall asleep fast regardless. When he woke the next morning, he felt like he didn't want to move. His back was aching terribly from sleeping on rocks, all of his muscles were hurting from shivering for it was only April and he couldn't be bothered to make a fire, and bruises did indeed appear on his chest. He had looked down his shirt and grimaced at what he saw. Despite the fact that he knew Remus had strength even in human form, he had always either forgotten, or didn't really believe how strong he truly was. He stood up and was still dizzy from his head getting hit against the wall. He felt like absolute trash, and knew that he had way overslept, as tiredness was usually a side effect from a concussion.

Sirius knew he couldn't go the usual route up to Hogsmeade due to the fact it was no longer night time and would be spotted, especially without the Invisibility Cloak or Marauders Map, so he went to the Shrieking Shack. He entered through where he knew there was a hole in the wall and a trick board on the other side and prayed that Remus still wasn't there. Luckily, either Remus wasn't in the Shack, or they just didn't run across each other. Sirius took the tunnel back to Hogwarts grounds and then snuck his way around the Whomping Willow so he'd be less likely to be spotted, and then dashed into the forest. He stood behind a tree for several seconds, not sure of where to go from here. It was hard trying to avoid one of his best mates considering other than the library, they shared many of the same spots to hang out, not to mention the same friends. Sirius' only safety at this point would be if Remus was hanging around Annelise in the library.

As Sirius made his way back into the grounds, trying to look as casual as possible, he looked around. He couldn't see Remus, James or Peter anywhere, so he assumed he was safe. A few people he passed asked him if he was okay as he was walking slightly hunched, but he just ignored them. He didn't want to go back to the common room, even though he knew he shuold try to make it to at least one of his classes. He knew that by the time he showered (which he would definitely have to do after bleeding and sleeping outside all night), got dressed and actually tried to get to class, it would be over. Instead of doing any of that, he went over to a tree by the lake. He climbed it carefully, and then sat on one of the middle branches do that he would be surrounded by leaves. He knew that he wasn't completely hidden, but didn't care. He just wanted time by himself.

Sirius' eyelids were heavy and all he could think about was his bed and clean clothes waiting for him. Instead, he put his back against the trunk of the tree and stared out at the lake. After a while of doing this, his arse hurt so he descended and headed back to the castle. He managed to get into the common room and up to the dormitory without being detected. When he got in, everything looked normal. There was no way to tell if Remus had slept in his bed or not because the house elves would have made his bed anyways. Sirius quickly went into his trunk and grabbed the first change of clothes he laid his hands on. He then went into the bathroom and turned the water on in the shower as hot as it would go without being scalding. He then undressed and climbed it. He knew that the full moon wasn't that night, but the night after. He had no intention of telling Peter and James not to go. Sirius ran his hands through his wet hair and placed his head against the wall of the shower. If Remus didn't want them to go, he could tell them him-bloody-self, Sirius thought angrily.

After he finished showering, he threw his dirty and bloody (in the back of his shirt where the blood had dripped down, and on the trouser legs where Sirius had wiped his hands) clothes on his bed lazily and grabbed the Marauders Map from James' trunk before running down to the kitchens. It wasn't dinner yet, so Sirius grabbed a whole bunch of rolls and things that they were preparing for dinner and left again. He had every intention of avoiding Remus at all costs, even if it meant not speaking to everyone else. He knew he couldn't do it forever, but for now it would be fine. He then exited the school and made his way back into the Forbidden Forest. He didn't wander deep, but merely kept to the edges of the lake. He found a nice spot and ate the food that he had stolen. After a few hours, Sirius was bored and the sun began to set. He practised some magic and spells that he was supposed to be learning in class. Although it was early, Sirius fell asleep on the ground. When he awoke again, he noticed that it was past curfew. He didn't have the Invisibility Cloak, but he had the Marauders Map.

Luckily, he was able to avoid everyone as he went back up to Gryffindor tower. He entered the dormitory and saw that everyone was in their beds... Remus' curtains were drawn, so he assumed that he was there too. Without bothering to change, he fell into his beds. Usually, he would leave his curtains open, but decided against it that night and closed them.

Sirius uncharacterstically awoke just as the sun rose. He exited the Gryffindor common room after changing clothes feeling proud that he had managed to avoid Remus for twenty-four hours. He knew it would be impossible that day, for he had to go to class. He made his way down to the Great Hall, and then grabbed some early breakfast. He was practically the only one there, so he grabbed some food and then left to eat it in one of the corridors.

OOC: Sorry if that sucked. Couldn't remember which night we planned the full moon to be. I know absolutely nothing happened in my post, sorry!

[/justify][/blockquote][/blockquote]

[Remus John Lupin]

[I think the night after the night they had the fight was supposed to be full moon, because else Rem would've at least had a little more restraint (:
'sfine, though - just a minor edit (:]


Remus had not spend the night in or near the Shrieking Shack. As the sun had set, he had snuck back into Hogwarts in the dark, quite able to find his way by simply listening. He had taken a long, long bath in the Prefect Bathrooms, though it hadn't cheered him up whatsoever. Remus had never felt so lost, not even since he had been bitten. Back then, he hadn't lost friends this close, but now..
Silently, he'd gone back to the dorm and had been awake all night. Sirius didn't return and Remus felt terribly worried. He even went as far as trying to find him on the Marauders Map, but as the cave was off Hogwarts grounds, he couldn't find him. As light started creeping through the curtains, he got up silently, dressed before anyone even dreamt of waking, and went down to the kitchens to get breakfast - he was not in the mood to eat in the Great Hall. The House Elves were immensely helpful, knowing what Remus craved on days before the moon, but they didn't get as many grateful compliments as they usually did. Then again, House Elves didn't expect compliments.

Despite everything, he went to class, even if he could hardly focus. Sirius still wasn't there. People asked James, Peter, and himself where the fourth Marauder was, and every time Remus would softly admit he didn't know. Luckily, neither the teachers, nor his friends asked him what was wrong - they probably all assumed it was the moon coming, and partly, it was.
Throughout the day, Remus was quiet, withdrawn, and looked like he hadn't slept for a week - nothing too much out of the ordinary, and none of his classmates nor his friends appeared to be surprised when he didn't show up for dinner. To rather be safe than sorry, Remus had pressed a note into James' hand before leaving. 'Maybe you'd better not come tonight.' He hadn't added a reason on purpose; Remus expected James to trust his judgement and didn't want to talk about the reason, to be honest.

Remus was glad he'd done it, too. As much calmer as the previous moon had been, when the Marauders had joined him for the first time, that much worse did this moon turn out to be. By the time Remus awoke, he was lightheaded and his arms and legs were covered in both undeep and deeper gashes. Also, he found that his left knee had been dislocated somehow. Wincing in pain softly (but refusing to cry this time) and quietly waiting for Madam Pomfrey to come and collect him, Remus rested his head on the cold, wooden floorboards and thought about how he was glad his friends had not been there with him. If he had done this to himself, then what might he have done to a stag and a rat without the large dog to stop him? Worse yet, how would the wolf have reacted to the dog, if he had been there?
He was just glad he was the only one to suffer. Remus felt he sort of deserved it, even, after being so terribly hurtful to Sirius both physically and mentally. His friends weren't supposed to go through this the way he was, and Remus seriously considered asking them never to accompany him ever again. He was touched by them trying to be there for him, but yesterday night and tonight had made him realise he could not ask this of his friends (if they were going to be his friends any longer.. because Sirius would surely tell them at some point) - it was simply too dangerous. He would allow himself to put them in such severe danger.

Eventually, it was probably around six am, Madam Pomfrey showed up. She tutted at him for having maimed himself so while the previous month had been so quiet, and Remus just half shrugged and was quiet as she transported him back to school, cleaned his wounds and set his leg.
Blissfully asleep thanks to a huge amount of potions, Remus spend the rest of the morning in the hospital wing until the matron woke him up for some soup around lunchtime. She asked him how his leg was doing and if he wanted to leave, as Remus was usually eager to return to his friends and fellow-students, but this time, Remus shook his head. No. No, he wanted to stay - at least until evening. The matron shot him a curious look, but didn't ask, and Remus allowed himself to slip away in half-sleep and half-dreams.
He still felt sad and lost and alone, but not as poignantly as the evening before, he felt more numb now. He felt sort of bad for not feeling worse than he did, he had just lost his best friend, why was he not feeling worse than he did? Was he really just heartless like that?

In the evening, madam Pomfrey changed his bandages one last time and declared he had recovered enough to go, which Remus grudgingly did. He walked back to the common room slowly, careful not to put too much weight on his injured leg, which was still a little sensitive. Passing through the common room, he didn't look up and just made for the dorms. He wasn't in the mood for social interaction, he just wanted to go to bed and read or actually try and sleep.


[Up to you if Siri's in the dorm or common room of whatever (:]

[Sirius Black!]

Sirius found that this day was a lot more boring than the one before. He felt immsensely sulky, and every time someone asked why he was walking funny, he told them to go do something extremely inappropriate. In hopes of avoiding Remus, Sirius also therefore had to avoid James and Peter. Besides, he didn't want to know what those two would say about it. No doubt it would all be Sirius' fault because look at Remus, he's small, skinny and poor little werewolf. He snorted at his own thoughts. Yeah, cause the bruises across his chest were from someone who needed to constantly be defended. He knew it would be safe to go to classes due to the fact Remus was no doubt in the hospital wing, but he arrived late on purpose, barely spoke the entire time and made sure to leave late so that the other two wouldn't notice any funny movements he would make. He wished suddenly that he was a werewolf too, and that way he could heal faster. Sirius was sure Remus was already running about fine.

He spent the entire day going between being angry with Remus and feeling bad about what he had done. He didn't want to lose Remus as his friend, but he wasn't sure how they were ever going to make up after that. Sirius had admittedly said some fairly harsh things, and Remus tried to do the same back, but it was like something had broken between them. He knew he couldn't hide from Remus forever, but it didn't mean he couldn't try.

At the end of classes, Sirius had to risk running into Remus by going up to the dormitory in order to drop his books off. He had skipped dinner and merely stole a couple of sandwiches from the kitchens. When he entered, he paused only for a split second. There sat Remus on his bed. Never before had Sirius wished that his bed was not right next to Remus'. He didn't want to talk to Remus, so he just blantantly ignored him. He walked over to his bed, opened his trunk and threw his books inside before noisily going through his trunk in search of candy. He even grabbed one of his school books that he had just finished putting away, a quill, some ink and some parchment and threw it all on his bed. He then kicked his shoes off, sat on his bed, and opened the book to a random page.

Sirius proceeded to then only open the candy that was individually wrapped in plastic or any other noisy container, as well as the ones that made cracking noises when chewed. He winced as he leaned foward to grab a different candy and continued to eat noisily with his mouth open. He flipped the pages of his book one page at a time until he got to page 174. He pulled out some parchment and began to scribble on it before crumpling it up and tearing it to shreds. Sirius knew he'd be annoying the hell out of Remus and found he was having fun doing so. Besides, he could always just claim he was doing his homework.

[/justify][/blockquote][/blockquote]

[jamespotter]

James had been in detention or he would have accompanied Sirius to Hogsmeade night before last. From the looks of the dorm that night he probably should have skipped the detention, taking the risk of being tossed off the Quidditch team for the rest of the term. When he had walked into the dorm it was empty save for the candy on Sirius' bed and floor. Messy but common place for candy to be strewn about. No, what was uncommon and quite unsettling was the blood he found on the floor. A lot of blood. Not only was it on the floor but it was on the wall. Someone, no not someone, one of his friends had been hurt and hurt badly. Slightly panicked he headed to the hospital wing only to find it empty except for a first year with a tummy ache. Upon returning to the dorm he cleaned up the blood and picked up the candy, while he waited for Sirius, Remus and Peter. Hoping for an explanation. It didn't come. Impatiently he left the dorm again in search of them for after checking the map he couldn't find them any where. He looked everywhere he could think of, the forbidden forest, Hogsmeade, the Shack, to no avail. Most of the night he searched, his mind so preoccupied with finding them he walked right into Filch when he tried to return to the dorm.

After a long night of cleaning armor as order by Filch and Slughorn, he returned to the dorm to find Peter fast asleep and Remus already gone. The candy was still strewn about on Sirius' bed which meant it wasn't slept in. More worried than ever he looked for them throughout the day as he went from class to class. Unable to catch up with them for someone had the map so he couldn't use it. Then he received the note from Remus. Telling him not to go to the sack that night. That should have eased his worries because at least Remus was okay but it didn't. Why wouldn't he want them there when everything went so well last month? Now more than ever he was determined to talk with them to find out what in Merlin's name is going on.

Odd how living with three other people, two can manage to avoid the others. Usually the first one up James was surprised see Sirius' bed had been slept in, the candy gone and the covers in a messy heap. Sure to find Sirius in the Great Hall he hurried down only to find a nearly empty table and a rumor that Sirius was ill. A second year Slytherin was more than happy to tell him that fact. Greatly annoyed he headed off to classes. Full of mixed emotions. Concerned, mad, annoyed and generally in a foul mood. Hopefully after classes he would find them.

And he did just that! Though when he walked into the dorm one could cut the tension in the air with a knife. Something was wrong and he was going to get to the bottom of it. Immediately he shut the door, pulled his wand and locked the door. Crossing the floor he waved his wand causing the book Sirius had to fly across the room and hit the wall. Stopping between them he looked from one to the other. They both looked like hell. "This stops here and now ... this avoid dance... I want to know what in Merlin's name is wrong with you two!"


word count 589

[Remus John Lupin]

Mere minutes after Remus had curled down on his bed with his eyes closed (he couldn't be bothered to close the bed's curtains), someone entered. Sirius - Remus could smell him. He tensed briefly and his strained muscles complained at the reflex, but he kept his eyes closed and just hoped that Sirius would pay him no mind. Initially, it seemed that his wish had been granted, but apparently Sirius decided to stay instead of just dropping off things and picking up what he needed in order to distract himself for the rest of the evening.
He could hear Sirius and he realised Sirius wanted to be heard. It seemed like a statement - 'I can't care less'. To Remus, of course, the sounds were louder and especially the plastic sounded sharper than to normal human ears, but with the moon as good as gone, his patience had returned and besides.. he was too tired to respond, to be honest. He just closed his eyes a little tighter and guessed he should feel lucky that Sirius still hadn't paid him any personal attention.

Not long after, the door opened again and when Remus heard the lock quietly click shut, he opened one eye. James. A rather annoyed James, by the looks of it. Scratch that, a very annoyed James.
"This stops here and now ... this avoid dance... I want to know what in Merlin's name is wrong with you two!" Remus contemplated staying where he was, but then again that wouldn't make the situation any better. Slowly, and deliberately, he sat up, facing James, but not Sirius. James' question echoed through the dorm and for a while, everyone was silent, the tension rising and rising.

Remus swallowed almost audibly. He'd had enough time to think about things in the time he'd been alone, and had concluded that it was his fault, really. Sure, Sirius had said some very hurtful things, but it had been Remus who had lost control of his temper, who hadn't been willing to listen, and who had actually physically hurt Sirius. He had known Sirius had a famous temper, and instead of controlling himself he'd made matters worse. Thinking about it again made him feel increasingly guilty, more so with James standing there demanding answers, so he eventually broke the silence.
"It's my fault," he softly said. "Sirius has every reason to avoid me, there is nothing wrong with him, it was me." Remus knew this wouldn't make it right, but he felt that it was the best he could do, anyway. He should've known better, after all, yesterday's scenario had been the one he had been warned about his entire childhood, and he hadn't seen it coming, nor had he been able to regain control when it had been happening, and he had hurt a friend in the process. The least he could do was take the blame that was rightfully his. He wasn't sure how James would react, but he didn't want to harm Sirius any more by also causing a fracture between him and their (or his) other friends.
He glanced at James briefly, knowing the boy would want an explanation, because this wasn't near good enough, of course. "We had a disagreement and I lost control, and I shouldn't have," he added after another brief silence. "So he has every right to want to stay out of my way."

[Sirius Black!]

Sirius continued to chew on his candy, flip pages and scribble noisily. He wasn't irritating Remus nearly as much as he thought he would be, and just as he was about to practise the bird-creating spell to let birds fly around the room chirping, James walked in, causing only one bird to be created. The bird fluttered around the room happily; although in that moment he wished he hadn't made it. The way James looked at both him and Remus as if they were mere children shamed Sirius just in the slightest bit. Regardless, he still thought he was in the right. When James asked what was going on, Sirius decided to open another box of Bertie Bott's. He didn't care if he was going to have to go through all of his candy in order to avoid speaking.

Sirius listened to what Remus had said and almost snorted. Of course he'd do the 'hey, I'm Remus, I'm mature,' speel, but then again, would Sirius have been put in a good mood by Remus claiming that it had all been Sirius' fault? Well, no, so he supposed this was the lesser of two evils. This had been the one thing that he had hoped to not discuss with James, despite the fact that they usually shared everything. Sirius had half-expected Remus to tell James all about how Sirius called Remus a monster and a waste of time, but no such words were uttered. He could feel James' eyes on him, but Sirius' mouth was overly full of every flavoured beans so he just merely said in reply to Remus, "What he said."

Sirius decided to not take any of the blame whatsoever. He was almost hoping that it would annoy Remus. The bird continued to chirp and flutter around, and was rather getting on Sirius' nerves. He waited for the bird to fly back around near him to grab it, for Sirius didn't want to stand up to go grab it in case he flinched due to the pain in his chest for reaching for it. Finally he was able to snatch the bird and Vanished it only with the slightest of flinches at the pain. He continued to stuff his face with candy and looked determinedly at James and not at Remus next to him.

[/justify][/blockquote][/blockquote]

[jamespotter]

He had half expected Sirius to attack him either physically or verbally for sending the book across the room. For he had literally tore the book from his hands to send it flying. Nothing. No come back, no reaction at all. Just a conjured bird. So where was that infamous Black temper? This lack of response concerned James more. Sirius just sat there eating candy. This was so unlike him.

Remus sat there just as silent as Sirius. The tension growing thicker. Apparently the book wasn't enough to get their attention. He was about to blast the bird from the sky when Remus spoke up saying whatever the issue was it was his fault. He stood there waiting, waiting for some sort of explanation.

We had a disagreement and I lost control, and I shouldn't have .... So he has every right to want to stay out of my way.

Of course he noticed both of them avoided looking at each other. They both were looking at him. So unlike their past 'disagreements'. For instance he remembers in the Shack their first time, Remus and Sirius were not seeing eye to eye but they were talking to each other, looking at each other. He turned his eyes to Sirius after Remus finished waiting for further explanation.

What he said.

"Uh huh" he responded, looking from one to the other then ran his hand through his hair. "Just a disagreement, I see." Did they think he was oblivious? Stupid? They had been best mates for five years. They've had disagreements before ... this was more, much more. They worked out their disagreements, not avoiding them and certainly not avoiding the rest of them. He shook his head and let out a sigh before he walked across the room to Sirius. Reaching over he took the box of Bertie Bott's, pouring a few in his hand before setting the box on the night table, hopefully out of reach. Walking across to his bed he sat down. Ate a couple of beans while he looked at both of them, studying them. He decided he would try to get them to relax. Relax some by letting them think he believed their lame story before he hit them with his trump card. "So... Remus how did last night go? I have to say you looked a 100% better last month than you do now." It was the truth, last month Remus didn't hurt himself and recovered quicker, so their plan had worked.... well for one month it did. "Speaking of looks... " he looked pointedly at Sirius "what have you been doing? Those dark circles around your eyes tells me you haven't been sleeping."


word count 417

[Remus John Lupin]

This was one of the sides of James Remus usually admired - his way of being direct when needed. Sirius could sometimes hide behind laughs or insults and Remus was a downright secretive person to begin with, but James would never fail to confront anyone if he felt the need and drag the truth out of them. Remus wasn't so sure if he was happy with that characteristic now, though.
He could feel his friend's eyes heavily upon him when he muttered half an explanation, then they moved to Sirius, who of course did not accept any of the blame at all. Remus found himself frowning a tad, feeling annoyance and thinking to himself that it was just so typically Black to put the blame on someone else, but he immediately felt bad for thinking such a thing. Besides, hadn't he just admitted that it was his fault himself? Who could blame Sirius for not using the opportunity?

"Uh huh. Just a disagreement, I see." Remus had the faint feeling James wanted a little more explaining, but he wasn't going to give any as long as he didn't ask - he was rather ashamed of his previous night's behaviour and didn't want to elaborate if he didn't have to.
Yes, they had always gotten past their previous disagreements, but this went deeper. Remus had actually hurt Sirius, Sirius had said things he had never said before. Remus wondered if it would be fixable, if there would ever be the trust there was before - and even then.. how long would it take before they would be over everything that had been said and done?
Remus was glad when James sighed and walked over to Sirius, even if it only was to nick some candy - at least there was no focus on him now. It became silent again, and Remus just stared at the floor, knowing this wasn't over, so he didn't allow himself to relax - the silence only made him feel more on edge. It was like the silence before the storm.

"So... Remus how did last night go? I have to say you looked a 100% better last month than you do now." Remus shrugged slightly. "Had worse," he muttered, glad when James' next question was directed to Sirius.

[Sirius Black!]

Sirius knew instinctively that James didn't believe that it was just a simple argument. He knew his best friend better than that, and could not only hear it in his tone, but also in his facial expression. He honestly wanted to tell James all about it, but at the same time didn't. It was almost like telling James about it would make the whole thing real: that Remus had physically attacked Sirius, and that Sirius had said things that would no doubt earn him the silent treatment for quite some time. Really, neither of them were in the right, but Sirius was still feeling antagonistic.

Sirius allowed James to take some beans, but then he placed the box out of his reach. He frowned, wondering if James remembered that there was a thing called magic for a reason. Sirius pulled out his wand and muttered, "Accio Every-Flavoured Beans."

[/i] The beans then flew to him and he continued to eat them. He glared jokingly at James for a few moments for taking away his candy when he remembered the awkward situation they were in. He was focusing hard on finding some good flavoured bean, and then when he heard Remus' answer, Sirius snorted loudly.

"Yeah, you've definitely had better," Sirius muttered, momentarily forgetting in his quest to find the Butterbeer-flavoured bean that the others could hear him. He looked up and glanced at Remus and said, "What? You have. Just because you threw a hissy fit and didn't want the others going, you now look like hell where last month you certainly recovered a lot better. And I thought I had too much pride."

Sirius' outburst was unexpected even to him. He frowned and put the bean in his mouth. Ah, then he remembered why he had begun chewing candy. It kept his mouth busy instead of going off on one, sort of like he had just done. If only the Butterbeer jellybean hadn't been so evasive, he might not have said anything like that at all. It didn't mean that he didn't mean it, either. He just hadn't meant to say it.

Sirius then decided to direct his attention back to James and the question meant for him.

"Yeah, I've slept," Sirius replied, simply. "Although I might not have recovered from the night I slept outside of Hogwarts." He paused, and then continued with, "Although I have found the hiding spot to where the school owls mate."

Sirius had a hard time not making jokes when James was around. He had a feeling he was going to get chewed out for his comment towards Remus, but he didn't particularly care. [/size][/justify][/blockquote][/blockquote]

[jamespotter]

So far he didn't have much to go on... there was a 'disagreement', blood on the floor and wall, Remus not wanting him at the shack, rumors Sirius was ill verified by his appearance, both of them avoiding him and each other. Now apparently Remus had a fit over them going to the shack. He furrowed his brow ... no that was not what Sirius said. He said 'didn't want the others going'. Others? As in he and Peter? He thought a moment as he watched Sirius with the beans. What was it Remus said earlier? I lost control, and I shouldn't have. His eyes shot over to Remus.

"Is THAT what all of this is about? You don't want Peter or me to come to the Shack?" he questioned as he struggle to put it all together. "You two fought over that?" He shook his head. "I got your note telling me not to come but there was no reason as to why? So why? or rather why not?" He paused a second to collect his thoughts before continuing. "Last month you didn't hurt or maim yourself, we all got along and you were able to recover quickly. I don't see the problem, but if you only want Sirius there and not Peter and I ... I understand." He stood up and walked across the room his eyes fixed upon the wall where the blood had been. He turned and looked at them both, wanting to see their reaction to his next sentence. "If you only want Sirius there I understand, there's no need to fight, break up a friendship or spill blood."

There he did it ... threw it out for all to see and now he was going to see who reacted

word count 294
sorry for the shortness ... couldn't think of anything more to say at the moment

[Remus John Lupin]

Sirius didn't seem too bothered, surprisingly. Then again, if Sirius felt he was actually in the right, there was no need for him to bother, was there.
"Yeah, you've definitely had better." Despite the fact Sirius had thrown numerous insults at him the previous evening, insults that had been far worse, Remus found that didn't make it insulting any less. "What? You have. Just because you threw a hissy fit and didn't want the others going, you now look like hell where last month you certainly recovered a lot better. And I thought I had too much pride." Remus narrowed his eyes and looked at Sirius for the first time in two days, actually glared, but he didn't speak. Remus didn't want to talk to Sirius, he was sure it would probably only make things worse.

He silently half-listened to the other things Sirius was saying, and resisted the urge to shake his head when Sirius actually joked around. He wasn't sure if he should feel insulted - like he wasn't taken seriously. Then again, when did Sirius ever take anything very serious? He had done so the night before last and see where that had gotten them?
Remus half froze when he felt James' eyes land on him again. He didn't know why he was this jumpy, maybe the fear James would side with Sirius, and Remus would have to pack his bags for attacking a student.

James seemed to have a theory of his own, though. "Is THAT what all of this is about? You don't want Peter or me to come to the Shack? You two fought over that? I got your note telling me not to come but there was no reason as to why? So why? or rather why not?" Remus opened his mouth, glanced at Sirius, closed his mouth, and wasn't sure where to begin. He needn't worry, though, as James apparently wasn't done speaking yet.
"Last month you didn't hurt or maim yourself, we all got along and you were able to recover quickly. I don't see the problem, but if you only want Sirius there and not Peter and I ... I understand. If you only want Sirius there I understand, there's no need to fight, break up a friendship or spill blood."
Remus drew a deep breath and exhaled softly. "No, James - that's not it." He felt bad that his friend would feel unwanted. "As I said: Sirius and I got in a fight-" his voice trailed off for a moment. "I had done something extremely stupid, and Sirius was trying to tell me how stupid I'd been, and I wouldn't listen, so we got mad at each other, and I hurt him rather badly," he muttered, not once looking up, keeping his eyes fixed on the carpet. He didn't need to see his friend's face while he was confessing what he'd done. "I was afraid the wolf, I mean.. I was afraid I would hurt you too, so I didn't want you to come to the Shack." Although Remus usually clearly distinguished between 'I' and 'wolf', this time he did not. It had been Remus hurting Sirius, and he saw no reason why he wouldn't be responsible for anything the wolf might have done.



[Siriusly said in the cbox: 'By the way, if james comes back, feel free to post in the james/remus/sirius thread again as sirius doesn't really know what to say, and that I'm going to be gone most of the night.'
I just thought I'd put it here before it's lost somewhere in the depths of the cbox ]

[jamespotter]

Watching them both neither spoke. Sirius sat there eating candy while Remus studied the carpet pattern. Finally Remus spoke up As I said: Sirius and I got in a fight.

"No you said you had a disagreement, big difference." he interjected "I could tell there was a fight by the blood on the wall and floor and the fact that no one was in the hospital wing and you both disappeared for two days. You have an excuse for one day" he paused and gestured toward Sirius "and you have no excuse!"

I had done something extremely stupid, and Sirius was trying to tell me how stupid I'd been, and I wouldn't listen, so we got mad at each other, and I hurt him rather badly,

He had been looking at Remus but at the mention of hurting Sirius his eyes shot over to the boy on the bed. He looked tired but other than that he seemed fine, except for is unusual quietness and the fact that he was going to be on a sugar high very soon.

I was afraid the wolf, I mean.. I was afraid I would hurt you too, so I didn't want you to come to the Shack.

His heart leaped to his throat and no doubt his face paled, for a fleeting second he thought Remus had attacked Sirius as a wolf and had bitten him. But he quickly recovered as the words caught up to the actual events in his mind. The full moon was last night, not the night before. Not the night he walked into the dorm with a bloody floor. Slightly mad at himself for thinking that he walked back to his bed, sat down on the edge and ran his hand through his hair, glancing from one boy to the other. As he thought what to do next, he found himself in a rather odd position. He was playing the role of peacekeeper, one that was usually assigned to Remus.

"Damn it Remus when in Merlin's name will you stop blaming everything on your furry issue?" he said rather annoyed now. "So you two had a fight! Not any different than when in first year Sirius bloodied my nose." As he recalled he had provoked that punch by comparing Sirius' attitude at the time over something so trivial he can't recall now to Bellatrix. The punch came hard and fast. One minute he was standing the next on the ground with blood flowing and Sirius walking away. "The point is I, or rather, we didn't let it get between us and end a friendship." he looked at Sirius "now we are best mates, he's like a brother to me. I would have missed out on that if we hadn't of worked it out, by talking not avoiding." He stood up and walked over to Sirius. "I know Sirius can be stubborn and a general pain in the arse sometimes" he said looking directly at him. "But he does care and and protect his friends, even to the point of putting himself in harms way." he grinned at him then asked "You alright there?" pausing slightly before asking Sirius "So what did our furry friend do that was so extremely stupid?"

[Sirius Black!]

Sirius, continuing to be uncharacteristically quiet, merely listened to the conversation between James and Remus. Unlike most fights he got into with people where he just sarcastically interjected whenever he felt like it, he felt different this time. Even bit his tongue every now and then, but didn't say anything. He had to admit he felt guilty, but he just couldn't bring himself to take the blame. All he wanted to do was make sure that Remus hadn't told some random stranger about what he was, and what did that escalate to? Being shoved against a wall and ending up hitting one of his best mates with a spell that he didn't even know what it was.

Sirius looked guiltily at James. He had remembered punching James, but it had practically been the foundation of their relationship. He had punched James on one of their first encounters, and for some reason that led to them being best friends. He still didn't understand how that had worked, but he was grateful that it did. However, he couldn't seem to find the words to explain to James why this was different. Why it wasn't the same as just a punch in the face. It was Remus' lack of control, it was Sirius' hurtful words... but he didn't know how to explain all of that. He was so used to just impulsively saying things that when he thought them out first, he found himself at a loss for what to say.

"I slept in the mountains," Sirius answered simply in the question to where he had been. He hadn't wanted to admit it, for he felt like it was a silly thing to have done. However, in the back of his mind he would do it again in a heartbeat. Next time he merely would have brought a blanket or two so he wouldn't shiver all night long. "Besides, it all started because apparently we're not the only ones who know about his furry little problem anymore. Has nothing to do with the fact that I'm a pain in the ass."

His tone wasn't as harsh as it had been earlier, but he still looked surly. He abandoned his candy mission and just merely sat there. He felt the need to tell James what the fight had been about... he had a hard time keeping anything from James, even if he wanted to. He shared everything with the boy, even things that were probably too much information. However, James returned the favour so it only made them stronger to know such trivial things.

At the question, Sirius stood up and raised his shirt to reveal the bruise that was across his chest that was the same width as Remus' arm that had turned black and blue.

"Now before you think I'm hitting on you like usual, Remus did that," Sirius said. He knew he might have a few small bruises on his back, but they were too small to even mention. "Also experienced a lovely concussion and I suppose the blood had come from the back of my head. If anything will get a girl's attention other than looks, it's from being injured."

[/justify][/blockquote][/blockquote]

[Remus John Lupin]

"No you said you had a disagreement, big difference. I could tell there was a fight by the blood on the wall and floor and the fact that no one was in the hospital wing and you both disappeared for two days. You have an excuse for one day and you have no excuse!" Remus frowned. So yes, maybe he had made the matter seem smaller than it was by calling it a mere 'disagreement', but part of him still wasn't happy acknowledging what had happened, it only made it more real.
When Remus explained the reason why he hadn't wanted James and Peter (let alone Sirius) to accompany him that full moon, James looked highly uncomfortable. Had his friend just realised that 'running with werewolves' wasn't some sort of game? He was truly shocked by something, but Remus couldn't read his mind and didn't know what had upset James, nor did his friend speak his mind. That worried him.

"Damn it Remus when in Merlin's name will you stop blaming everything on your furry issue?" Remus frowned deeply. "Are you assuming I blame everything on that so that I won't have to face responsibility?" he asked lowly, a little annoyed, honestly. "Because I admit my responsibility. It was me," Remus added, voice raising slightly even though he had promised himself to be calm.
"So you two had a fight! Not any different than when in first year Sirius bloodied my nose." Remus grit his teeth and looked down. This had not been just a fight, but saying that meant he would have to admit what was probably the most foolish thing he'd ever done in his life. Remus wasn't sure if he was ready to admit such a thing in front of Sirius, afraid there would be taunts once more, and so he kept quiet, even when James stated that Sirius and he had never let a fight get between their friendship.

"I know Sirius can be stubborn and a general pain in the arse sometimes, but he does care and and protect his friends, even to the point of putting himself in harms way." Sirius objected; Remus wasn't surprised. "Besides, it all started because apparently we're not the only ones who know about his furry little problem anymore. Has nothing to do with the fact that I'm a pain in the ass." Of course Sirius wouldn't willingly admit it was also at least a little bit his fault, and the way Sirius said it felt almost like an accusing finger in Remus' general direction, even if his tone had softened. Sirius was apparently happy to elaborate, so Remus decided he'd leave the explaining to him, then, because he didn't want to explain at all.
Matters only became worse when Sirius lifted his shirt and Remus got to see the damage he'd done. He blushed deeply in embarrassment, but said nothing. "Now before you think I'm hitting on you like usual, Remus did that. Also experienced a lovely concussion and I suppose the blood had come from the back of my head. If anything will get a girl's attention other than looks, it's from being injured." Remus looked away and pinched the bridge of his nose. He was tired and even when he had admitted his guilt, James hadn't seemed satisfied, and although he hadn't expected Sirius to admit he had also partly been in the wrong, all the Heir to the Ancient and Most Noble House of Black had done was point fingers in Remus' direction. He had the feeling this was never going to end well.

[jamespotter]

This peacekeeping role was harder than he thought especially when Remus said Are you assuming I blame everything on that so that I won't have to face responsibility? He dearly wanted to say 'I don't have to assume I have five years of proof.' From his mood swings which he always can't help to his afraid of letting anyone close to him for 'fear' of them finding out. His aloneness. And all the gametes in between. His struggling at classes and refusal for help. His reaction to Skeeter's article or their being in the shack with him. That and so much more. It was always there holding Remus back from being the person or man he should be. The 'I can't because I am a werewolf' was always there. Even his excuse for not wanting James at the shack last night was because 'HE was afraid'. So he bit his tongue and let the comment slide past, besides he didn't want to attack Remus verbally. This was about getting Remus and Sirius to mend not his thoughts and opinions.

He nodded when Sirius said where he had been, though to him that was no excuse for avoiding him. But he wasn't about to nit-pick the details. Details seemed to still be missing on what had happened until Sirius spoke up Besides, it all started because apparently we're not the only ones who know about his furry little problem anymore. Has nothing to do with the fact that I'm a pain in the ass. Not the only ones? he rose an eyebrow, who else could know? He thought for a minute before he realized what Sirius was referring to ... Annelise. Not smart ... but then again not completely unexpected that he would tell her. If he did tell her he sure as hell hoped that Remus could trust her forever. Cause after a break up all bets were usually off and girls had a way of 'getting back' at a guy by using such type of information.

Before he could say anything about that, Sirius stood up and bared his chest. Now before you think I'm hitting on you like usual, Remus did that .... James nearly laughed. He did everything he could to not, for he thought that Sirius was trying to be serious, wanting some sort of reaction out of James. Perhaps a reaction condemning Remus. And perhaps that was the problem ... everything was too serious. Yes the bruise looked nasty, but James has had worse from bludgers and bats and a fall or two. So he leaned in close for a better look, studying it intently on purpose, taking his time. He paused, then pulled back from Sirius, straightening up he looked his best friend dead in the eyes, folding his right arm across his chest and covering his mouth with his left hand, trying to not laugh "hummmm..." then pointed at Sirius' chest. "I can't believe it, that is just ... just ... awful! Remus? How could you?" He paused for effect. "You know how hard Sirius has worked to grow that hair, and now look at it ... it's broken," This time he did laugh. Sure he was going to get grief from them for not being serious. "Look," he said between laughter. I'm sorry, couldn't help myself."

Apologetically he nodded at Sirius, "Put your shirt on mate." Then walked over and sat on his bed. "Guys, your fight was two nights ago, don't you two think it's time to move forward, mend fences and discuss the issue rationally and calmly?" He looked from one to the other. "We all are best friends, mates, the marauders, if anything we stand by each other not attack." He cleared his throat. "Now Moony I know you like Annelise but are you completely daft? You shouldn't trust a female with that type of information unless you are marrying them." He paused and suddenly added out of curiosity "You're not going to marry her are you?"

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(*disclaimer - any of you ladies that take offense to my comments they are merely generalizations and not pointed personally at any of you) LOL