Along With The Tide | Sirius and Remus

[Remus John Lupin]

He didn't feel the need to respond or cut in as Sirius and Lena went about their easy-chatting and half-flirting. It felt strange, somehow, that this would seem so normal, while deep down he knew Lena was not at all comfortable. It felt a little twisted to him. Sirius didn't respond to his eye roll - but then again Remus should've known that the subtleties of facial expressions were often lost on Sirius. It didn't matter, it wasn't important now. As much as he wanted to sink himself into speculation of the three of them setting up a business (no matter how mad and improbable it would be that they would actually go through with it), if only for the mental comfort that he would not wind up alone once they had graduated, Remus felt that they shouldn't get sidetracked from what was really the issue here.

Remus did think it needed to be said, but Sirius was a little too direct for his tastes. Lena was feeling nervous enough without the two of them cornering her, he didn't want her to feel pushed into telling - he'd much rather try and coax her out of her self-inflicted silence. Besides - you never knew what people might do when they felt cornered (least of all girls, really - there was just no way to tell!) and he didn't feel like allowing this to escalate into a fully-fledged fight. He didn't let on that he didn't agree with Sirius' way of handling things, though. It wouldn't do anyone any good if they ended up quarrelling over this, because then they would never get anything fixed and besides, Remus did think they had more of a chance of helping Lena if they worked together. (And hadn't he read something somewhere, at some point? About the good cop/bad cop tactic?)
It wasn't difficult to tell that Lena felt extremely uncomfortable and not just by the blood rushing to her face. He could practically see the gears turning in her head, trying to think of something to say - no doubt to get them off the trail. Remus suddenly regretted that Lena was so clever. She could probably come up with a plausible story if she wanted, even if it was generally so easy to read the lies off her face. So he watched her reactions closely (without trying to be too scrutinising).

Lena was silent for quite some time, seemingly at a loss, and then she just shook her head and looked up at the two of them - telling it was nothing they should be bothered about. Remus' raised an eyebrow. That was not what he had expected. If this was the best answer that Lena could come up with, something was definitely wrong.
"It is not okay," he simply concluded, but contrary to Sirius, who would probably have growled the response in annoyance, he made a point of trying to sound empathic. "It does bother us, you don't just get to dismiss it." A kind of sternness had crept into his voice during that last sentence and he regretted it immediately, but he felt so helpless. He exhaled quietly, tried to calm himself down - because this was freaking him out - and added, gentler: "What are you so afraid of? We're trying to help you, Lena."

[Sirius Black!]

Sirius frowned. All of his conversations filtered out. It wasn't that he minded, but this back-and-forth with Lena was driving him mad. He wasn't sure, but another part that annoyed him was the way that Remus was dealing with it. He knew that different people dealed with situations, well, differently, but Sirius was never one to take the passive route. He knew that his methods were sometimes a bit too ... direct, but he couldn't help it. What Sirius was grateful for was the fact that Remus wasn't just allowing Lena a 'get out of jail free.' He was no longer telling her it was OK to not tell them. As angry as Sirius always got when he was backed into a corner, he tended to do the same thing to others. Hypocritical? Certainly. Everyone in the world was hypocritical, some were just more than others. Sirius definitely fell under that category.

Instead of lashing out like he so badly wanted to, Sirius crossed his arms and looked angry and didn't say anything for a bit. It was so frustrating that Lena couldn't just come out and say it. Why the hell couldn't she just ever say something that might not be what Sirius wanted to hear? He would eventually get it out of her, like he always did.

"You know what? Fine, don't tell us," Sirius finally said after a few moments. He stood up and took a few steps away from her. "I'm not going to play little games to get what you want to say out. Let me know if you ever feel like actually talking without me having to literally pry it out of you."

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With that, Sirius turned on his heel and began to walk to the stairs which led to the boys' dormitories.

Notes: Sorry it's short. There wasn't a lot to reply to haha[/size][/justify][/blockquote][/blockquote]

[Remus John Lupin]

Oh, shit.
Trust Sirius to feel left out or annoyed (Remus wasn't sure because of him or because of Lena or both - but that didn't matter right now) and stomp out like a bratty toddler.

Remus really considered to just let him leave. Let Sirius simmer in his own stubbornness and just focus on Lena's problem instead. But he couldn't, not really. This wasn't just any normal Hogwarts-run-of-the-mill-gossip problem, that much was clear to him, and he needed Sirius to be there, not just for Lena but also for himself, because deep down he was a little afraid this would be too big for just him to handle. After all, Remus tended to be a little too nice at times and then they wouldn't get anywhere.
So when Sirius started walking away, Remus stepped in his friend's direction, grabbed him by the arm, and stopped him. Part of his mind realised it probably looked a little surreal to Lena, as Sirius was a lot bigger than Remus, but that part could well sod off now. There were more important things to worry about.

"Lena doesn't get to dismiss it and that doesn't mean you can just walk away from this," he hissed, perhaps a little more annoyed than he meant to sound. "She is terrified of something-" inward he apologised to Lena for saying it so harshly, but subtlety didn't work on Sirius and Remus sure didn't feel like being subtle "-and you're walking away because she's not willing to tell? Did it not occur to you that the mere idea of telling frightens her out of her mind? This is not some girly episode - if you walk away now, you're not just a right terrible friend, but also a coward."
Stepping back, he let go of his friend's arm and slightly glared at Sirius, challenging him to respond.

[Sirius Black!]

Sirius had his first on the bottom stair when he heard Remus talk. Now what? he couldn't help but think to himself. He automatically rolled his eyes as he turned around to face them again. Sirius could almost feel his blood boil at Remus' comments. Trust him to always try to be the mature one... always the one who felt like he was an adult. He was the same age as the rest of them, and sometimes Sirius felt like Remus was trying to be their parent or guardian or something. It was why Sirius frequently went to James with problems instead of Remus.

"I can do whatever the hell I want,"

[/b] Sirius replied, rather immaturely. In his eyes, however, it wasn't immature. It was just the first thing to come to his mind, which happened to be the first thing that came out of his mouth. He looked at Remus with angry eyes. "So what exactly do you propose we do? How the hell am I supposed to know what is wrong with her? How do you? Unless there's something going on between you two that you've neglected to tell me, you must be some sort of mind reader,"[/b] Sirius rambled sarcastically. He breathed deeply for a moment and paused, then continued with, "So unless you're speaking for her now, too, I'm going to leave. You can judge all you want, I don't care. I don't really see how any of this has to do with me, especially considering Lena's not even saying anything anyways."[/b]

Before Remus could retort (of course), Sirius began to climb the stairs, his hands balled into fists in anger. [/size][/justify][/blockquote][/blockquote]

[Lena Marie Becket]

This was not good. Not good at all. It was a rare occasion when Remus was the one pushing and prodding for more information while Sirius just sat there. More often than not, it was the opposite. But Remus wasn’t going to let her get away with not telling him. She bit her lip in worry, her gaze dropping to the carpet before them as she listened to him almost ordering her to just spit it out. It made her cringe inside, knowing that it was her soft spoken best friend doing this but it was made even worse that Sirius just continued to sit there and not talk. But when he did, everything got extremely terrible. It was almost like a train wreck. Her heart broke as she listened to him tell her she was playing games, and like he couldn’t even stand being around her anymore. And then Remus actually stood up and got in the way, telling him he couldn’t go. And while the sound of Rem saying she was terrified made her wince and look away from the truth, her eyes turned right back because it looked as if an all-out fight was about to start and her pulse quickened and she started to panic a bit.

This was all her fault. All of this was going to pants because she wasn’t telling them what had happened, trying to protect them and herself. Why was doing that wrong? She just didn’t want them to know she was broken or for them to treat her like she was broken. Was that too much to ask? But they continued to argue and Sirius was starting to climb the stairs and Lena knew, just knew, that if she didn’t spit it out right now, everything was going to be ruined and she really didn’t know if her and Sirius would be able to bounce back this time. She didn’t even notice that no one else was in the commons, though it was a very good thing, as she shut her eyes very tight, clenched her hands in her lap, and just yelled out, trying to get him to not leave, and for them to not fight again.

“I was raped! I’m sorry. Please don’t fight or leave. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you! I’m sorry…”Her voice tapered off as she finished her yell. Lena’s eyes were closed so tightly that the tears in her eyes were hard pressed on finding a way out but they did and a few of them slid down her cheek as she pulled up her legs and tucked her head into her knees and wrapped her arms around her head, trying to just cope with the fact that she had not only told them, she had yelled it at them. The panicked feeling in her belly was still there though now it wasn’t just because of their fight but also because she was terrified of what would happen now.

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this is for SIRIUS and REMUS! it came out to be a lovely 495 words long, and my character is wearing something like CLOTHES. Hope this works.. The thread template was made by GREEN EGGS AND SAM! of caution 2.0 and the lyrics in the text are from forget paris.

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[Sirius Black!]

Sirius was halfway up the stairs when he heard the exact words that he wasn't expecting: Lena yelled out that she was raped. Sirius gribbed the railing and stood there for a moment, the anger at Remus and the confusion at Lena's words intermingling. He stood there, feeling like a bit of a jackass. He hadn't expected something so difficult to be wrong with Lena. He expected something easy, like some girl had been mean to her or some Slytherin boy had called after her rudely. One could not really blame Sirius for thinking such things: rape just didn't happen at Hogwarts. Sure, some girls had claimed they were in their past for attention, but he highly doubted that this was the case with Lena.

Or was it? Sirius shook his head, trying to get the idea to bounce out of his head. He didn't want to think that. However, as much as he didn't want to think that Lena was faking, the idea was just sitting there like a rock. Could she be faking it? The two of them never actually defined what they were to each other. Was she getting sick of not having labels for what they were? Did she just want to get his attention? Sirius failed to believe his own thoughts. Lena never had to go chasing after Sirius (as far as he was aware). It had always been him chasing after her. From when she used to be even more quiet than she was now, Sirius and her used to be just barely friends. But he bugged her then, and he bothered her enough to persuade her to take her on a quasi-date. It had been a task that he hadn't even thought would happen. She had been his Lily Evans, except (as far as he was aware, yet again), she never hated him. In Sirius' head, they had been like what James and Lily would have been like if they were friends.

When Sirius finally got the concept of her lying out of his head, he turned around with his fists still clenched. He was a rather single-minded individual, and therefore his mini-fight with Remus was already out of his head. The two of them bickered quite frequently. Although this was more than just bickering, it was clearly the lesser of two problems.

"WHAT DID YOU SAY?" Sirius roared. If someone was listening in, they would have thought that Sirius was yelling at Lena, rather than yelling about the situation. He wasn't yelling at her for saying such a thing, but Sirius hardly had volume control when his temper got the better of him. He didn't sit down, he just stood in front of Lena and Remus with his fists at his side and his hands shaking furiously. "WHO DID IT?"

[/b] he demanded. "I'LL GET THEM, I WILL."[/b] For some reason, Sirius' mind automatically went back to Silvanus. It went back to Sirius accusing Lena with flirting with Silvanus. It went back to Sirius' accusations of Silvanus looking at Lena in the wrong way. Sirius' mouth twisted and tightened in rage. "I'LL KILL HIM!" Sirius burst out, and then ran towards the common room door. He wrenched it open, then turned back and faced Lena. Sirius' face was contorted with anger, and he made sure his eyes met Lena's. "Just tell me it was him."[/b] Sirius said, his voice now a dangerously quiet tone. He felt as if he didn't have to tell her who he thought it was. It was just one of those things people had with those they were close to. It was almost like telepathy. If Sirius was in a better state of mind, he would have been taken aback by how close he felt to Lena in that moment. "Just tell me it was him and I'll get him."[/b][/size][/justify][/blockquote][/blockquote]

[Remus John Lupin]

Remus could read Sirius' desinterest in his expression easily and found himself thinking why he was even trying. Sirius wasn't going to listen to him, anyway, and apparently assumed Remus was also keeping things from him. Oh. Yeah. That was just marvellous.
Fine then. Let him leave, stubborn git that he was. Sirius wasn't what was important right now. Lena was.

He turned back to Lena as he heard Sirius walk away, facing her just as she blurted out the truth of it all. It was like being slapped in the face with a sledgehammer. No, it was like being punched in the stomach with- with something big, something sudden and destructive. Because that was what it felt like - quick and shattering everything to pieces.
For a moment, Remus felt like he was physically going to be sick. The idea of someone doing that to Lena- He felt the colour drain from his face, swallowed, and resisted the urge to swear. The worst thing of it? That she was actually apologising.
And fuck, how was he supposed to react to this? Part of him wanted to just hug and reassure her, like they'd so often done for each other, but Remus now understood why she wouldn't touch them and he didn't want to scare her. But he couldn't fix this with words, he couldn't imagine a single thing to say - nothing was adequate. She was crying and upset and Remus had no idea what to do.

Naturally, whereas he felt devastated and lapsed into silence, Sirius easily channeled his emotion into anger, and Remus cringed at the loudness of his voice. There was something completely honest and open about Sirius' reaction, but then again Remus wasn't so sure about him shouting at Lena right now.. On the other hand, it was better than his attitude from before (and Remus wasn't going to ask him to keep it down, the risk of a fist to the face was too big).
His heart skipped a beat as Sirius insisted that Lena tell him who it was. His friend apparently had a hunch already (although Remus had no idea who) and that slammed another truth into Remus - whoever did this was at Hogwarts as well. His first reaction had been focused all on Lena, the victim, but now that Sirius reminded him that somewhere nearby there was someone who had done this to her.. he felt anger rise in the pit of his stomach, rushing through his veins - overwhelming and rather intimidating, not something Remus was sure he was willing to give into. A moment ago, he had been about to call out to Sirius, call him back, tell him not to be stupid - now he just kept his mouth shut and hoped Sirius left enough of the bastard alive for Remus to tear into. (The image was both frightening and strangely satisfying.)
"Lena-" he finally found his voice and choked out her name. "Have you told anyone else? The head master? Anyone?" Remus felt that they should. Not that he had an unwavering trust in authority, to be very honest, but it would be the right thing to do, right? "Shit," he quietly hissed under his breath. What coul they do? There had to be something they could do? "Shit."

[Lena Marie Becket]

She was still, crying. There was no stopping that now. She had cried so much over the rape already that she shouldn’t be able to cry now but with everything that had happened, including her panic on losing Sirius and Remus because they fought, and the truth coming out, she just couldn’t stop herself. Life would never be the same for their little group any more. As soon as it had all came pouring out of her mouth she knew that things would change. Remus would probably forever treat her like she was fragile and as for Sirius? Lena didn’t even want to think about it but she knew he would never want a relationship with her now. He would probably see her as damaged goods. And that thought was killing her inside. The rape she could attempt to live with but losing her friends, or them not looking at her the same way or treating her like she was broken, that might actually kill her. She hadn’t seen the dumbfounded look on Remus’ face when she yelled it out but when neither of them replied for a few heart pounding seconds, she looked up to see them both.

The first to react was, not surprisingly, Sirius. He started roaring which made her flinch slightly and look away but she, mentally at least even if her body didn’t agree with her, knew he wasn’t yelling at her. He yelling at her was a whole lot different. It was just that, when he was upset, he only had one voice volume level. And that just happened to be ‘loud’. He continued on, demanding to know who did it, and how he would kill them. But she didn’t need to say a thing. After just a second of silence Sirius had obviously figured out whom it was, from his change in reaction. Why oh why hadn’t she listened to him when they had been at the hospital wing and he’d warned her that Silvanus was looking at her weirdly? He was right all along. Even without her telling him that it was Kettleburn, Sirius knew. Lena looked down and softly said, “Yes”, not wanting to say it louder. It was hard enough to think about, let alone speak it. Then she noticed how close he was to the door and she moved forward quickly, shaking her head. “Sirius, please, don’t! If you go after him, you will be the one in trouble!”

But her attention was then caught by Remus as he finally spoke up, having been silent during Sirius’ anger. As he asked if she told anyone else she shook her head fiercely, looking at him, surprise in her eyes that he would even think she would. “No. No one knows. I haven’t told anyone….well except you two now.” Lena turned back to the door, trying to get the dark, hot headed marauder to stay in the commons. “Sirius.” She put as much feeling into his name that she could, hoping it would make him halt and stay put instead of running off to kill a professor. That would surely land him in Azkaban and he wasn’t even 18 yet.

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this is for SIRIUS and REMUS! it came out to be a lovely 530 words long, and my character is wearing something like CLOTHES. Hope this works.. The thread template was made by GREEN EGGS AND SAM! of caution 2.0 and the lyrics in the text are from forget paris.

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[Sirius Black!]

Sirius didn't want to see her cry. In the amount of time that he had known her and grown close to her, not once had he seen her cry, and it bothered him. A part deep inside felt immensely saddened by her pain, but there was nothing he could do to get rid of what happened to her. All he could do was try to fix the situation in the only way that he knew how. Sirius could see the helplessness on Remus' face, and he wanted his mate to back him up. There was so many emotions and thoughts going through Sirius' head that he didn't know where to start. All that he knew was that his blood was boiling and he wanted to get that son of a bitch.

Sirius had no idea what was going through Lena's head. He didn't know that she thought that he was going to see her as 'damaged goods,' and he probably would have scoffed at her for making any such comment. He would have thought it absolutely ridiculous that someone could think that because they were the victim of something, that they would no longer be desirable or liked or wanted. It just did that for the offender.

Sirius could feel his stomach lurch when she said 'yes.'

"I fucking knew it!"

[/b] he exclaimed. He wasn't usually one to swear, but it was like his mouth had a mind of its own. Besides, there was no other word that could explain what he was feeling. He went to leave, but it was like his feet were glued to the ground by her words. Initially, at least. "Do you think I care if I get in trouble?" he asked, seriously. "I have no family, no job prospects, does it even matter if I got expelled? Besides, I don't think I will. Once Dumbledore finds out, he'll probably back me up... everyone knows Kettleburn is a creep. You're Lena Becket. If a professor doesn't believe you, they should have their mentality checked."[/b]

Sirius was trying to sound kind, although he knew his frustration was probably still breaking through in his voice. He didn't move back any closer to the other two and just stayed at the door, making sure they wouldn't say anything that would actually persuade him to not go. Sirius shook his head at her saying his name.

"No, I'm not letting him get away with this, and neither should you,"[/b] he said, not sure if his words were directed at Lena, or Remus, or both.

With that, Sirius exited the common room, leaving the two behind. He made his way through the corridors. He coincidentally had the Marauders Map on him, and he opened it up so quickly that he was surprised he didn't rip it. He stopped abruptly and gazed over the Map, trying to find that little dot with that little prick's name on it... [/size][/justify][/blockquote][/blockquote]

[Remus John Lupin]

Lena crying broke his heart. No, really, it did. Looking at her made him feel sick, because seeing her like this conjured images of what might have happened and those nauseated him to the core, deep behind his solar plaxus. And then he felt guilty, because he shouldn't be disgusted by Lena, and he wasn't, but what had happened was. Out of automatism, he half reached out to her, pulled back as he realised she wouldn't want him to touch her, and then winced as he feared it would seem as though he didn't want to touch her and that wasn't true. The helplessness was frustrating on entirely new levels. Remus wanted to smash something to pieces, but was incapable of chanelling his anger as easily as Sirius could, so he stood, pale and shocked and trembling - and most of all useless.

When Lena confirmed Sirius' suspicion and Sirius named Kettleburn, Remus felt a flare of something frightening. He really wanted to hurt him. It suddenly became so much more real now that the person who had hurt Lena had been given a face. So much more terrible. He wanted to hurt him so badly.
Now of course Remus had been angry with people before - even though he tried to rationalise and keep calm, he couldn't help himself all the time. But that had been petty student fights, easily solved by discreetly tripping someone up, or coming up with a particularly eloquent way to bring them down with words. This was something entirely different - it felt.. adult, almost. A grown up need to set things straight, but without the rationality Remus always expected adults to have. The blood pounding in his ears was overwhelming and he had to take a few deep breaths.
He shouldn't focus on who had done it. Lena - it was Lena who mattered now, right now. They had to keep her best interests in mind, no matter how both he and Sirius wanted to- (Stop that thought right there.)

"We should go to someone from the staff," Remus spoke quietly. "Sirius- We don't want this to get any messier than it already is." He let urgency bleed into his voice. Sirius had to see, he had to, that they couldn't act on a whim now. If this turned into a scandal and became known throughout the school, Lena would never live it down.
Assuring Lena that he would be right back with a few words and a smile that felt fake and empty, he jogged after Sirius, grabbing his arm to stop him from leaving. "Wait, Sirius- We have to think," he insisted, and continued before his friend could get a word in edge-ways. He needed to say this now, Sirius could disagree with him later. "I agree with you that- that the bastard-" Remus swallowed hard and exhaled slowly. "Of course he needs to pay," he muttered quietly, almost a growl. "But we have to think about Lena- you know what gossip is like at Hogwarts.."
He paused and as he half-smiled at his friend, his eyes had the gleam of a predator. "I have an idea."