I'll let my walls come down `REMUS

[Remus John Lupin]

It hadn't been Remus' objective to make her feel bad about asking. They were, well - he was her boyfriend, weren't they supposed to be close? She should be able to ask questions like the one she'd just asked, even if he didn't like answering them, Remus felt she sort of had a right to know. A voice in the back of his head told him Sirius would probably blatantly disagree.
He smiled slightly. "Don't feel bad - it was a long time ago," he softly said, trying to make her feel less uncomfortable about the whole thing. More discomfort was something Annelise certainly couldn't use. As for her not realising his confession was more of a figurative one, well.. that was sort of the point, wasn't it?

"People like him don't deserve to live," Remus heard Annelise say and he half-nodded, able to ignore the fact she'd said 'people like him', which might include Remus, but he now knew it didn't. She meant heartless people, cruel people, and though Remus wasn't always happy with himself, he didn't consider himself any of those things. "I wish someone would do something about him. How come things like him get to live in this world when they don't even appreciate life, whereas someone like my brother, who only wanted to live the most he could gets it taken away from him?" Remus, again, nodded quietly. He'd have loved to say 'someday, I'm sure he'll get what he deserves', but truth was, Remus wasn't sure if that would happen, nor was he sure what Greyback actually deserved.
If Remus hadn't had a loving family, would he have turned bitter and angry over the years?

For a moment, Remus' thoughts wandered through the possibilities of what Greyback could possibly deserved, and how 'justice' should be delivered - it were thoughts he didn't often indulge in - until Annelise's voice once more pulled him out of his head and back into reality.
"Shall we get started?" Remus got up with a bit of a guilty expression. "Yes, of course, sorry." He smiled at Annelise slightly. "Anything in particular you wanted to work on tonight?" He could imagine she wanted to do something offensive. Really, Remus could quite imagine if she wanted to make practise dolls explode; both their frustrations hung thick in the air and Remus couldn't deny he longed to blow off steam himself. (He had this feeling Sirius would probably have something to say about Remus and Annelise blowing off steam together.)

[Annelise Westerhof]

Annelise didn't want to ask any more questions just in case she asked another one that ended up making her feel terrible. If the answers were making her feel terrible, she couldn't imagine what Remus was feeling like. He looked fine for the most part, however, but she still didn't want to bother. She was sure that if their relationship lasted long enough, he would eventually tell her who he had lost to Greyback. Annelise knew she shouldn't be rushing the relationship, but she felt as if she wanted to know everything about him. In a little voice in the back of her mind, she felt like everyone knew him better than she did. Every time she spotted him when she wasn't hanging out with him, he was hanging around with Lena or something. She tried to not be jealous, though, and tried to appreciate the time she was spending with him. Annelise fully trusted him, that was true, but it didn't mean that she wasn't jealous of the time he spent with Lena... especially when Lena looked like that.

Remus stood up and asked her what she wanted to do. Really, her usual self told her she wanted to practise her Patronus, but another part of her reminded her that she didn't really have many happy thoughts to work off of.

"I don't know... something exciting," Annelise said, trying to sound happier. She knew she didn't have to put on a face for Remus, but knew he was worried about her. She knew if he was going to try to make her feel better, she may as well let him worry less every now and then. "Do you have anything in mind?"

She certainly hoped she did, because between her brother and Greyback, her mind was whirring and she was having a hard time concentrating on one thing at a time. All she wanted to do was blow stuff up, and hopefully have fun at the same time considering she was with Remus. She didn't want to remain in this angsty state. She wanted to blow off some steam and maybe have fun in the long run.

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[Remus John Lupin]

Remus smiled a little when Annelise said what she wanted to do - "I don't know... something exciting." She was apparently trying her best to focus on the here and now, and Remus was in no mood to discourage her to keep doing so. "Do you have anything in mind?"
His slight smile widened. "I guessed you'd maybe like some offense spells?" Remus knew a number of spells that made things explode or harmed them in other ways, and what better way to blow off steam than to practise those?

He could feel himself go into teacher-mode, but Remus didn't stop himself.
"I'll just describe them.. and then you can choose which one to pick, okay?" A row of dummies appeared at the far end of the room, and Remus pointed his wand at the first one.
"Confringo." The first dummy exploded into flames. "Confringo uses heat as a source of explosion, so there's flames and a bang," he explained, "as opposed to-" he pointed his wand at the second dummy "-expulso." The second dummy also exploded, but there were no flames. "Expulso uses air pressure and all that, but it's still a rather large explosion." Remus cleared his throat and pointed at the third dummy.
"Personal favourite - comprimo." At first, nothing happened to the dummy, but then, it completely imploded. "It heightens the air pressure around the target, pushing it inside itself in stead of exploding," Remus explained. "Everything basically breaks in the process."
He turned to Annelise, pocketing his wand and waiting for the room to fix the dummies. "Any you like in particular, we could start with that." Faintly smiling, he waited for her answer. Remus was positive Annelise would be able to do this, and he felt it would probably make her feel better. Less frustrated.

[Annelise Westerhof]

Annelise was about to be non-commital with her answer about wanting to learn some offensive spells, for she didn't want him to think that she was trying to get him to train her up to go against Greyback, but he practically answered the question for her, and for that she was grateful. She supposed that he was trying to let her blow off some steam instead of what she had assumed. She watched him hit each of the dummies, and she found all of the spells fascinating and exciting. He knew exactly which ones would probably feel the best to use, but then she suddenly felt her self-consciousness of not being sure if she'd be able to do them. Annelise tried to memorize every spell and wand movement to the best of her ability so that she wouldn't have to ask him to repeat himself.

"I think I'm going to try them all at once and see if I have any luck," she suggested, simply. She took out her wand and decided to do the spells in reverse order that he showed her in. Annelise tried to focus on the dummy and then flourished her wand and said, "Comprimo!"

All that it looked like was that the dummy got a hug. The mold of it shifted slightly, but nothing dramatic happened. She tried the next one.

"Expulso!" instead of the whole dummy exploding, however, only the head did. She felt less put-off that time, even though the spell wasn't completely effective. She had learned that if she just made a mental note that they were dummies, she was able to perform spells better. She knew it made practising ineffective, though, because if she wasn't faced with a threat, then if a threat ever did happen to her, she wouldn't be ready and would no doubt end up screwing up.

Annelise then focused on the last dummy and cried out, "Confringo!"

Much to her surprise, the dummy actually burst heavily into flames. She jumped back in surprise and just stared at it for several moments before realizing that the flames were much too big. She ran forward with her wand and said, "Aguamenti."

Although this was a sixth year spell, Remus had previous taught it to her. She managed to put out the majority of the flames with the water coming from her wand. The little amount that remained afterwards just burnt itself off. She looked back at Remus feeling a little embarassed that two of the spells she did barely did a thing, where she way overdid the last one.

"I, uh, don't know what happened," she admitted. She knew that overdoing a spell wasn't as bad as underdoing it, but at the same time she still felt like she failed a little bit. She wasn't going to deny that it felt good, however.

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[Remus John Lupin]

Annelise sounded happy with his suggestion to do offensive spells and Remus was glad for it. If she had asked for a patronus lesson, it would've probably have been a rather unpleasant, tough, and frustrating afternoon.
When Annelise mentioned luck, Remus heard himself think it wasn't a matter of luck, and that she would be quite able to pull the spells off after a bit of practise, but he didn't say. He had said it to her often enough, and it was one of those things that lost its credibility when said too often. Remus was sure Annelise knew he had faith in her.

He had expected her to somehow have a liking for the most violent one at this particular instant, so Remus wasn't too surprised when the other two spells had rather mediocre results (he was sure she'd do fine with some practise, though), but it seemed a good idea to focus on the last one.
Remus smiled and nodded. "Very well done for a first time. Shall we focus on the last one, as that one went best?" He wasn't very shocked at the amount of flames and had to admit he thought Annelise had done a good job putting out the fire, too. "Good job on the aguamenti, by the way," he remarked.
As per usual, Annelise seemed less sure of herself. "I, uh, don't know what happened." Remus smiled reassuringly. "Don't worry, it's fine. Besides.. it is supposed to be an offensive spell, you'll want to overdo it rather than hold back," Remus assured her.

[Annelise Westerhof]

Annelise smiled lightly at Remus' compliment on her spell. Singular, for she knew she was lousy on the other ones. She found it amazing that she and him were about the same age, but yet he knew so many more spells than she did. She honestly sometimes felt stupid, but not really because of him. Sure, she excelled at Care of Magical Creatures and such, but how much magical power did that really require? She tried to keep her negative thoughts to herself, however, for she knew that it was immature.

"Yeah, we can work on the last one," she agreed. She felt awkward, however, and didn't know what to do to make it less overdone. Feel less angry? Well, that was not about to happen. Despite the fact that he assured her that it was best to be overdone than underdone, she wasn't sure. Wasn't overdoing and underdoing showing a lack of control with magic? The only thing she felt like she had done as of yet was the water spell, and that wasn't even what they were supposed to be working on.

"Yes well, I admittedly use the aguamenti spell whenever I can as practise," she admitted. "If I feel thirsty in the common room or something..."

Annelise glanced at Remus, although she wasn't sure why. She took a deep breath, pointed her wand at the dummy and said yet again, "Confringo!"

Yet again, it was quite overdone and she sighed with frustration. She felt as if she had no patience that day, although it was understandable as to why. Annelise rushed forward yet again to put out the dummy, but she took her time. She felt annoyed with herself and annoyed with everything in general.

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[Remus John Lupin]

Remus smiled as Annelise did. It was of the utmost importance that she was going to be more at ease about her spell work, as she had enough stress in her life at the moment already.
"Yeah, we can work on the last one." He was glad she seemed enthusiastic about that. That was good. Remus had meant it when he'd told her it was best to overdo it than to underdo it. Of course, yes, control was incredibly important, but that was theory. Practise meant actual dueling, meant life and death, and if someone was out to kill you, it was better to make him explode with loads of fire than to give him a sort of invisible hug - right?

"Yes well, I admittedly use the aguamenti spell whenever I can as practise. If I feel thirsty in the common room or something..." Remus smiled wider. "That's good. The more you practise spells, no matter what spell, you'll feel more at ease with your own magic and everything will go so much quicker and more natural," he assured her, nodding.

He watched her, excited, as she tried again and wasn't at all surprised that it was overdone again. Annelise was under a lot of stress, after all. Remus could see she was fed up with herself and, once she had put out the fire, moved towards her and put an arm around her.
"Don't beat yourself up about it," he softly said, pressing a kiss to her hair to make her feel better. "And hey.. at least it feels good to blow things up, right?" Remus added with a bit of a grin.

[Annelise Westerhof]

Annelise could hear the amusement in Remus' voice, and for some reason it actually cheered her up a little bit. She knew the average person would probably get angry when someone laughed at failed spellwork, but with her it felt like the opposite. She wasn't sure if it was because it came from the one person outside of family who meant a lot to her, or because she was feeling so emotional that any sort of emotion from someone else was just exaggerated within her. Annelise wasn't even sure if she was making sense.

After he pressed his lips against her head, she smiled. It felt good to have him so close.

"Yeah, it feels great to blow things up," Annelise admitted. For some reason, him kissing the side of her head made her heart race, and she didn't know why. They had kissed before - a few times, even. She didn't even know if it related back to how she felt as if emotions were exaggerated, but she didn't care. All she knew was that she suddenly lost the urge to set things on fire. She turned before she could change her mind, put one of her hands on the back of Remus' neck and pulled him to her in a kiss. Annelise didn't pull away shyly or anything of the like. For her, she felt completely in the moment, and she was listening to her instincts. It felt good, and therefore she didn't feel like stopping.

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[Remus John Lupin]

[Whoo, go Annelise! Tame him, lol! P: *is so glad to be able to be online, even if it's only twice a week* *psyched*]


"Yeah, it feels great to blow things up." Remus laughed softly and had been about to say 'indeed it does, helps you blow off steam', but Annelise surprised him by pulling him into a rather heated kiss.
Well, not that Remus was complaining, not at all, really. To be honest, he was really attracted to Annelise, both mentally and physically, and he had been holding back when it came to the physical aspect, afraid to rush things or scare Annelise away (especially now that she was so vulnerable). He suddenly wondered if he hadn't been holding back too much, seeing her reaction. Then again.. she was under a load of emotional stress - Remus wasn't going to complain if she was planning to do this more often to cope with it.
He rather liked it, actually.

All his senses seemed to be flooded by everything Annelise and Remus reveled in being so close to her, so he put his arms around her and pulled Annelise against his chest. He was almost afraid his heart would pound through his ribcage and wriggle itself into Annelise's thorax just so it could beat next to hers.
Okay, that sounded very cheesy and wannabe-poetic, but Remus was honestly at a loss of words or thoughts, because everything on his mind was Annelise. He felt a little helpless that he couldn't just fix her feelings of sadness, and he had thought distracting her with blowing things up would help, but it this helped, he would certainly do it more often.
Tangling his fingers in her hair as his other hand rested on her hip, Remus smiled slightly into the kiss and, despite everything, felt himself relax.