I'll let my walls come down `REMUS

[Annelise Westerhof]

Annelise had returned from the week she had spent away from Hogwarts to attend her brother's funeral and mourn, and after being harassed in the Hufflepuff common room about what had happened to her brother (which a surprising amount of people knew the details) she escaped to the library. Never before had she recieved this amount of attention and she didn't particularly like it. She preferred when she could just slide into the background and people watch like she used to. Now she had to find the table in the furthest back of the library in order for people to leave her alone. Before Annelise sat down, she scoured the shelves for certain books, and went to the place where Madam Pince kept old newspapers for reference. Annelise went through them all and picked out certain ones with the help of the librarian. Annelise then went over to the table and spread out the books and newspapers so that no one would be tempted to sit with her.

Annelise was actually quite lucky as it was nice outside, so most people preferred to go out there than spend the day in the library on the last day of their weekend. She decided to start easy and begin her reading with the newspapers. It held the first article about an attack made by Fenrir Greyback. It wasn't a child, but instead a couple of teenage girls walking home from school. He went on the run. She read a few more articles in different papers. Annelise was disgusted by the sight of Greyback, and as the years progressed on the papers, he became much more animalistic looking. During the week she had spent at home, Annelise had become practically obsessed with Greyback. Her notebook which usually held observations about every day people instead became filled with notes about Greyback and those he attacked instead. She hadn't even become aware about how obsessed she was becoming.

Annelise read a few books in which he was mentioned, but then returned to the newspapers. She was reading a story about how a Ministry official's son had been attacked at the age of nine (no names were given due to privacy reasons) and just as she finished half of the article, she heard footsteps. She put the newspaper down face-up on the table to check to see who had arrived. When she saw it was Remus, she felt happy, but a little embarassed that she hadn't sought him out when she had first got back. She hoped that he would understand that she hadn't wanted to go through the school to find him due to everyone asking questions. Instead, she turned her grief into hatred like she had done all week and immediately went to the library.

"Remus," Annelise breathed, simply. She smiled at him as she exited from behind the table and went over to him to give him a hug. She had missed him, and found herself wishing that he had been at the funeral when she was. She had cried, and found that her parents' hugs and comforting felt empty. In fact, for the whole time she had been at home her parents seemed to even have a hard time looking at her. She knew about how sometimes parents could act funny around their surviving child when another child of theirs had been killed, especially when the two children looked alike.

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[Remus John Lupin]

"Hey Rem, how's Annelise doing?" Remus raised his eyebrow at the person who's first name he couldn't recall, but the full moon had been yesterday, and he had his patience back. "I don't know, she's with her family," he softly said, refraining from saying 'and it's none of your business, either'. The Ravenclaw opposite him raised an eyebrow. "She came back today, saw her returning from the station this morning."
Remus blinked. He hadn't known. "Oh," he muttered, stupidly, and got up from the grass where he'd been sitting and started walking back to school without another word to whoever-it-had-been.

He wondered why Annelise hadn't come to find him. Then again.. he had been outside with a lot of other students, he hadn't been exactly easy to find..
After dumping his things at his dorm, he went to find Annelise, starting at her dorm, then wandering the school for a bit, and eventually ending at the library, just because it was the only place he could think of.
Remus was glad to be able to smell her the moment he stepped inside the library and he smiled to himself a little. He had missed her more than he'd been expecting. This wasn't about him, though - it was about her, still, and he wondered if she was feeling a little better.. He hoped so.

She was sitting in the far back of the library, not that that meant he wouldn't find her. Remus would go to the end of the earth to find Annelise. She was surrounded by newspapers, sitting at a table all by herself, and looked up when he approached - Remus hadn't bothered to be silent
"Remus." Remus smiled back at her and pecked her cheek before sitting next to her. "Hey," he said softly. "How're you doing?" He glanced at the newspapers shortly, but the words didn't get through to him, he was just glad to see her again.
The idea he was a boyfriend now had gotten through to him and he had gotten used to it a little more now, which made him a little more confident.

[Annelise Westerhof]

When Remus kissed her on the cheek, she couldn't help but smile. It was nice to get some sort of affection from someone and to actually feel that they meant it... if that made sense. Just in that sort of touch she could tell that she wasn't actually invisible after all. Well, the moment she returned to Hogwarts she could tell she wasn't invisible, but that had been in a bad way. This was definitely a good way. She sat back down at the table with him and didn't mind that he could clearly see what she was researching. She wasn't really a secretive person when it came to herself anyways.

When he asked her what was wrong, she felt a little awkward. For some reason, she just didn't want to talk about herself. It felt as if for the past forever it was all she was doing. Talking about how she was feeling, what she was going through. Even Dumbledore had spent some time with her (as he had been kind enough to attend the funeral even though he didn't personally really know Jakob well) and tried to make sure she was okay. She just didn't know what to say. Yes, she wasn't about to die of heartbreak, but she didn't know how exactly to put into words the rage she was feeling, or even if she wanted to tell anyone that. It seemed more private than being sad. It was like a little war that she was having with herself, and she felt for the first time that she didn't want anyone to know. Annelise wasn't an angry person usually, so she was hoping the feelings would go away before anyone would ever find out.

"I'm alright, I guess," Annelise explained as she looked down at the newspaper but didn't really read anything. "The funeral was hard... it, er, had to be closed casket..."

Annelise paused for a moment to blink back the tears that had formed. In the pit of her stomach she felt the familiar warming sensation of anger which she also tried to keep back. She had to keep repeating this isn't you to herself in hopes that she would remember who she really was.

"My mum and dad are understandably upset, too. I guess I'm just trying to keep busy, you know, keep my mind off of it," Annelise finished. She finished reading the article quickly as she only had a sentence or two left and it was a good way to have a good pause once again. She turned to Remus was a somewhat fake smile on her face. "How've you been this past week? What have you been up to? I really appreciated the note you sent me. Sorry I didn't write back..."

Annelise was genuinely curious. It sounded stupid, but it had been the longest she had been away from him since she got to know him. She had missed him, more than just because she had wanted comfort. She had just become so used to him being around whenever she needed him that it was odd when he wasn't.

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[Remus John Lupin]

Remus was glad to see her smile, even if she was still sad. He was glad he was able to make her smile. He could see her hesitating, though, when he asked how she was doing. Remus guessed she had mixed feelings. Well, actually, he didn't guess. He was rather sure. After all, hadn't he sort of been through the same thing, apart from the fact that it had not been a murdered sibling, but himself who had been changed and maimed and who had never been the same. (Luckily, Remus didn't remember much of his life before the accident.)
He had been angry, he had thought it was unfair, a few times he had wished he had died. The worst had been seeing his parents. Remus could imagine it was sort of the same for Annelise.

"I'm alright, I guess. The funeral was hard... it, er, had to be closed casket..." She was avoiding his eyes, but Remus knew this was hard for her and pulled her against him in silence as she paused, obviously overwhelmed by emotion. "My mum and dad are understandably upset, too. I guess I'm just trying to keep busy, you know, keep my mind off of it." Remus nodded a little. "Yeah.. You know, you don't have to talk about it, if you don't want to. If you prefer, we can just pretend life is normal and everything," he softly said. It was what he had done, sometimes - pretending the full moons were just nightmares, but as he'd grown up Remus had also realised he couldn't always close his eyes and that he'd have to face the facts. Annelise would have to as well, one day, but if it helped her to ignore it for now..

Remus glanced at the article she was reading and intended to merely read the title, but when he realised what it was about, he froze and his eyes were glued to the page and, especially, the date. He had never realised there might've been an article in the Prophet, and never had he been so glad that his name had never been in there. But why was Annelise reading this? Remus had a hunch, but decided not to ask, he didn't want to ruin the mood, if there was any mood to ruin.
So shaken was he by the article, that he hardly even noticed Annelise's smile wasn't genuine. "How've you been this past week? What have you been up to? I really appreciated the note you sent me. Sorry I didn't write back..." He blinked. "Me? Oh - nothing much. Homework, keeping my friends out of trouble, thinking of you," he muttered, a little evasively. "I'm sorry I couldn't be there.."

[Annelise Westerhof]

When Remus suggested pretending life was normal, once again she felt conflicted. It was exactly what she wanted, but she felt guilty for wanting that at the same time. She felt like it would be insulting to Jakob's memory to pretend that he hadn't just died, but at the same time knew that at the end of each day, she would stop pretending and remember him, and probably cry about him. Was it so wrong to worry about herself during the day? She nodded at Remus. "Yeah, I think I'd like that. I can't be going around and crying all the time. Besides, I'm going to be getting it enough from everyone else. Do you realize how many times I've been asked what had happened? Most of them already seem to know, but I've gotten outrageous claims as well, like he had been bitten by a vampire and that we had to forge his death so that the Ministry wouldn't come and slay him. Sometimes I wonder about the mental stability of people at Hogwarts."

When she finished rambling, she looked expectantly at Remus, who in turn looked like he was shaken. He answered her question, but seemed thoroughly distracted, but she didn't know why. For some reason, Annelise looked up as if expecting Lena to be in the room. She didn't know why the thought hit her, but she supposed it was just a tinge of insecurity that Remus had all of these pretty girl friends... especially girls who were touchy. However, Lena wasn't around, and neither were any other pretty girls. Annelise wasn't really a jealous girlfriend, but it was only natural to be a little bit at times, especially in a new relationship.

"It's good to hear that you haven't been getting into trouble... or letting your friends get you into trouble," Annelise said with a tone of joking in her voice. She just couldn't get over the look on Remus' face, so the smile slid off of her face and she leaned forward and asked, "Are you okay? You look like you've just seen a ghost..." at the same moment, Nearly Headless Nick drifted by. That's when she remembered that ghosts weren't a big deal at Hogwarts. "Okay, you look like you've just failed all of your classes."

She was almost going to say 'it looks like you've just seen someone get murdered' but then realized that was completely inappropriate to say as well. She subconsciously folded the newspaper and placed it on the pile of other ones as she kept her eyes on her boyfriend. Oh, how she loved that word.

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[Remus John Lupin]

Remus smiled at Annelise slightly, looking at all the emotions in her face and patiently waiting. Actually, he had just expected her to nod a little and try to focus on something else. He could imagine why she was so conflicted. Besides that, the grief was still so fresh.
"Yeah, I think I'd like that. I can't be going around and crying all the time. Besides, I'm going to be getting it enough from everyone else. Do you realize how many times I've been asked what had happened? Most of them already seem to know, but I've gotten outrageous claims as well, like he had been bitten by a vampire and that we had to forge his death so that the Ministry wouldn't come and slay him. Sometimes I wonder about the mental stability of people at Hogwarts." Remus nodded slowly. "Try not to think of them too much, and no one should blame you even if you cried all the time - you have good reason to, Annelise," he said softly, eying the newspapers and concluding most of not all of the article were centred around Greyback and (thankfully!) not him. That calmed him somewhat, but still worried him.

Annelise seemed to have noticed - of course she had. "Are you okay? You look like you've just seen a ghost... Okay, you look like you've just failed all of your classes." Remus glanced at her briefly and decided not to avoid answering the question. "I was just wondering why you're reading up on Greyback," he softly said, smiling a little nervously.
"I know Hufflepuffs are fiercely loyal, but promise me-" Remus' eyes shot fire. "You must promise me you will not go look for him. Annelise, he is dangerous, the least that could happen is that there will be another funeral and I am not willing to go through that if I can stop it." Okay, maybe he was jumping to conclusions, but the idea of Fenrir first maiming his humanity and then his girlfriend was an image that he was simply unable to face.

[Annelise Westerhof]

Annelise smiled at him for being so understanding. Most people seemed to believe that once the funeral was over, you should be over the death as well. It was the first funeral Annelise had ever went to, and all it felt like during the funeral was that the wounds from the initial news of the death had just re-opened.

"Well, I'm not about to correct people. They can all think he was bitten by a vampire and was turned into a fairy or whatever. I feel like if I ignore it for long enough and act fine, people will just forget about it," Annelise stated. She hoped she was right, and that the opposite wouldn't happen, and that people would continue on about it because they didn't know what happened. She was almost sure that wouldn't be the case. She wasn't the first one at Hogwarts who had a death in the family before. "I'm just sick of crying, really. I know he wouldn't want me to mope around all the time anyways. He hated to see me cry."

Annelise twirled a quill around in her fingers for a few moments as she reflected on him. If there was a heaven, she didn't want him to look down from it and be sad at what he saw. It would be the last thing she wanted. She listened to what Remus said, and then she put the quill back down on the table, sort of unsure of what to say. She looked over the books quickly, and then back to Remus.

"I'm looking over stuff about Greyback because that's what I do when something happens in my life... I research it," Annelise said, being mostly truthful. She couldn't deny in the back of her mind that she would love the opportunity to get revenge for her brother, but at the same time knew that she wasn't nearly powerful enough. Look at how poorly she did in Defense Against the Dark Arts. That was a strong enough indicator altogether. "It's just... I keep hoping that if I research him I'll find a reason to why he is the way he is... so far I've only been disappointed and discovered that he has a liking for young kids..." She shuddered, but then continued with, "Although lately most of his attacks have been fatal. He hasn't changed anyone in quite some time, apparently..."

Annelise looked down at another newspaper that had Greyback on the cover. She wished that he was different and that there was a reason to why he was the way he was, but it appeared as if she just legitimately liked being cruel. She hated thinking her brother was just a statistic.

"I promise I won't go looking for him," Annelise stated flatly. She looked sideways at Remus and asked before she could stop herself, "Is there a reason why I shouldn't be studying Greyback?"

Annelise hated herself the moment the words left her mouth. She hadn't meant to ask, but the look on his face made the urge overwhelming. She absolutely knew it wasn't her place to ask him about one of his mates in an indirect fashion, and she usually didn't let her curiousity get the better of her, but it slipped out.

"I mean... never mind," Annelise tried to correct herself, but knew the damage had been one.

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[Remus John Lupin]

Remus was glad she appreciated his input, he was glad they could communicate and understood each other even when it was as difficult as this.
He listened to her reasons for wanting to act as though things were back to normal and smiled. "Good, then that's what we'll do. Who cares about what people think anyway," he said softly, smiling slightly. "I'm quite sure that they'll forget about it once it's old news, it's what people do," Remus assured her, squeezing her hand, hoping to make her feel a little surer about that. He was going to be there for her, anyway, and if anyone bothered her too much, well.. he was a Prefect and he'd send them into detention before anyone would be able to say an empty 'sorry'.

"I'm looking over stuff about Greyback because that's what I do when something happens in my life... I research it." Remus admitted he felt a little relieved by that, at least she hadn't been planning on seeking him out (the thought of Annelise telling a half-truth never even occurred to him).
"It's just... I keep hoping that if I research him I'll find a reason to why he is the way he is... so far I've only been disappointed and discovered that he has a liking for young kids..." Remus swallowed and half nodded. "Although lately most of his attacks have been fatal. He hasn't changed anyone in quite some time, apparently..." He couldn't deny he was glad to hear that. Remus secretly hoped he had been the last child Greyback had turned.

He followed her gaze to the newspaper and then looked away again. Remus didn't like looking at Greyback, it made him afraid that he would be like that, one day, if he lost control of himself.
"I promise I won't go looking for him." Remus breathed a soft sigh of relief. Then came a question he didn't really expect. "Is there a reason why I shouldn't be studying Greyback?" Remus blinked. "Because everything, Annelise, no matter what you're looking for, everything you're going to find is going to be a disappointment," he said. "Don't try to find a man behind him, there is no man in Fenrir Greyback, he's a monster only." Remus frowned. He didn't mind answering the question, but he had the feeling she'd expected a more personal answer - an answer he wasn't willing to give.

[Annelise Westerhof]

Annelise knew Remus was right about not caring what people thought. For the most part, she really didn't. It was one of the reasons why she didn't have many friends. To be blunt, she couldn't be bothered. But still, it was her brother's memory after all, and she didn't want it to be tainted. Then again, most of the rumours going around were from people who didn't know him to begin with. She supposed it was better than them knowing the truth that he was actually a Squib. Most people seemed to be under the impression that he had been too young to attend Hogwarts, and Annelise didn't mind. It wasn't like she was ashamed that her brother was a Squib, but the moment people started asking questions about her bloodline they would find out that her mother was also a Squib, and then there was the inevitable discussion on whether she could be considered pureblood or not.

"It's just weird to get this kind of attention," Annelise admitted. "I mean, I don't even know how people found out. I didn't tell anyone, well, other than you, before I left. I'm sure you didn't really tell anyone. It's amazing how things get around this school. I just wish people didn't know so that I could go on my day to day. I don't like this kind of attention, especially from people who couldn't have given me the time of day before."

Annelise honestly didn't understand why everyone was so fixated on death. Was it really that great to gossip about? Whatever happened to people gossiping about people hooking up, not people's family members dying? For all they knew, Jakob died some sort of natural death, like having dragon pox or something. People were much too paranoid nowadays. Then again, was it paranoia when the Dark Lord and his followers were on the rise?

Annelise nodded at Remus' answer to why she shouldn't be researching Greyback. She sat back in her chair in a defeated manner. "I'm beginning to see that."

She picked up the newspaper and stared at the man on the cover. Nothing about him seemed human, not really. His eyes were sunken and he looked menacing and as if he had no trace of a conscious. She didn't know anyone could be like that. Sometimes she wished she care or worried so much about everything. Perhaps then she would be able to be better at Defence Against the Dark Arts.

"I know how and why my brother died," Annelise stated, not looking away from the photo for several moments. "But yet I still don't feel closure."

Annelise pinched the bridge of her nose in an attempt to relieve stress. She looked back at Remus. "I think I want to try some more Defence Against the Dark Arts tutoring some time soon, if you don't mind."

She had been thinking about it for a while, even before her brother's death. Her grades had begun to slip in that class. Besides, her brother's death only motivated her to want to do them again. It was the first time she had ever been affected by the Dark Lord's attacks, and she felt suddenly extremely vulnerable. She knew she had Remus and her mum and dad, but she knew she couldn't always rely on someone else.

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[Remus John Lupin]

Remus always tried to convince himself he didn't care what people thought of him and though he sometimes managed to convince himself, he never succeeded in actually not caring what people thought. He could let insults slide and seemed to have an endless amount of patience, but this was also so because that was how he wanted other people to see him. It wasn't a downright lie - Remus was a caring, patient person - but throughout the years at Hogwarts he had magnified these treats as though these were the only ones he had.
His closest friends knew Remus could be moody and brooding, even snapping at people at the worst of times, but those times were always just before full moon - when Remus lost control easier. Control was really the keyword of Remus' life.
Also, it was easier said than done, not caring about what people said and thought of you, but these days what people said and thought of you could kill you or save your life. Maybe not in Hogwarts, because that was reasonably safe, but in the Real World..

"It's just weird to get this kind of attention, I mean, I don't even know how people found out. I didn't tell anyone, well, other than you, before I left. I'm sure you didn't really tell anyone. It's amazing how things get around this school. I just wish people didn't know so that I could go on my day to day. I don't like this kind of attention, especially from people who couldn't have given me the time of day before." Remus nodded slowly. "News goes around quickly here, really - I don't know how it might have happened, either." He sighed softly. "Everyone deals with these sorts of things in a different way, and I suppose a lot of students here are rather shaken by realising the war is so real and that it can kill people - people they know or people they're close to. I think.. on one hand, most feel bad for you, but on the other hand I think they're glad it wasn't them, which is a completely logical reaction."
Death wasn't great to gossip about, but death was something that was going to be prominent in a lot of their lives if this wasn't stopped soon, and many seemed to understand that. It was a scary idea, like this was just the first stone falling before the avalanche. Remus, personally, thought they were gossiping because they were scared, he could almost imagine the conversations. Everyone would be discussing if their family was likely to be a target by comparing their family to this victim.

Remus was sort of glad to see her defeated like that. He didn't want her to focus on such negative things and only be disappointed in the end. "I'm beginning to see that." He nodded slowly and did not look at the cover page of the newspaper.
"I know how and why my brother died. But yet I still don't feel closure." Remus sighed softly and smiled sadly. "I suppose that's because you can't understand what would drive anything to something like this," he said softly, "which is exactly what is admirable about you - you could never hurt anyone for your amusement." He rested his hand on her lower back, longing to pull her into a hug, but afraid it might make her give in and cry and he knew that was not what she wanted.

"I think I want to try some more Defence Against the Dark Arts tutoring some time soon, if you don't mind." Remus smiled, of course he didn't. Actually, he thought it was good if Annelise were to focus on something like that, something she could use her frustration in, blow off steam. "Sure," he said. "We could use the Room of Requirement again, if you're up for it." He didn't really have anything to do. Well, okay, Remus did have things to do, but in his eyes none of them were more important than Annelise.

[Annelise Westerhof]

Honestly, Annelise had never thought about the situation like before. Possibly because the whole thing was overwhelming already, she assumed everyone was being terrible people and just wanted something to gossip about... she never really thought it was the possible first strike of many to come and that people were worried that they were next.

"I never thought of it that way," she admitted. "Honestly, I only saw it as someone getting pissed off and trying to take revenge." She frowned. "You don't think that perhaps I should actually tell people what happened, then? Maybe if they find out, you know, that he personally wasn't, well, er," she had never outright told Remus was a Squib, but by now she just assumed that he knew. "Well, magical, then some of the pureblood families would be at ease? I mean, I consider myself a pureblood but..."

Annelise was beginning to feel a little flustered, so she merely shook her head and stopped speaking for a bit, hoping he understood what she meant by that random rambling.

Annelise smiled weakly at his comment about how she would never hurt anyone for pleasure. He was right about that, for sure. But she wasn't even one hundred per cent sure that's exactly what was bugging her about the entire thing. She thought about it for a moment and then said, "I think it's because I wish there was something in Greyback's life that made him become a monster. I hate to think that he was just you know, born this way. I mean, some people are arguing that he's like this because he's a werewolf but I don't believe it. I just wish there was something else... like when he was younger his parents were brutally murdered or something. Well, no, I don't wish anyone was murdered, but do you know what I mean?"

She looked at him hopefully. She felt as if words were failing her that day. She just didn't seem to know how to translate what she was feeling into words.

"You mean as in going right now?" Annelise asked. She was surprised by his suggestion. She wasn't against going right now by any means, but she just hadn't been planning on it, really.

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[Remus John Lupin]

"I never thought of it that way. Honestly, I only saw it as someone getting pissed off and trying to take revenge." Remus smiled faintly and shrugged a little. "It's not strange that you should think that, people can be pretty horrible about things.." "You don't think that perhaps I should actually tell people what happened, then? Maybe if they find out, you know, that he personally wasn't, well, er, well, magical, then some of the pureblood families would be at ease? I mean, I consider myself a pureblood but..." Remus started folding the newspapers in front of him, simply because he needed something to do and didn't want to look at the headlines anymore. "I think.. you should tell what you want them to know. It's a personal thing, it's not your duty to tell them just because they're ill at ease," he softly said, pulling a face at a picture of Greyback growling at him. "Of course you can tell them, if you want to - but as you said, it is none of their business, really." He smiled faintly.

Remus could understand Annelise wanted closure in that way. He had sought for that sort of closure for ages, and had been 'lucky' enough to not know his attacked until after first year, but after that, it had been hard to cope with.
"I know you want to know," he softly said, lowering his voice so only she could hear him. "Of course you hope it's something like that, but it's not. Some people are just.. terrible without a good reason." He swallowed briefly. "I suppose I can't stop you from reading, but I think.. you could do happier, nicer, and more useful things."
His eyes showed understanding, because Remus did understand. He understood completely, he'd basically been through the same thing, and he wasn't sure how to support Annelise through this, but he was at least going to be there for her and listen to her and do the best he could.

"You mean as in going right now?" Remus blinked. "Oh, sorry, I thought you meant right now. If you want to continue, eh.. reading.." He pushed the pile of newspapers he'd been folding back to her. "That's fine too." Remus smiled faintly. He wasn't going to leave her by herself, though - he had missed her, actually, and even just sitting with her was nice after being apart for a week.

[Annelise Westerhof]

Annelise watched Remus fold up the newspapers absent-mindedly as she listened to his advice. She longed to still stay in the library and read about Greyback until she knew literally everything about him, but at the same time she could tell that Remus disapproved. She knew she'd no doubt return later to get some more books, but she intended on leaving them in her dormitory as Remus seemed quite adament about her not continuing with it. Annelise knew that he had a point and that she wouldn't find the answers she was looking for, but she had the need to do something. The library wasn't the first place Annelise, as a Hufflepuff, would go, but she seemed out of options.

"I guess I'll figure out what to tell people as I go," she replied. "Even if I'm not ready to say anything at all at the moment."

Annelise didn't like to believe that people were terrible for no reason. She wondered perhaps if Greyback was like that because nothing terrible had happened to him, so he just added it into his own life. She didn't reply to him, however, as she didn't know exactly what to say. Everything she felt like saying didn't even sound like her. All the words she wanted to come from her mouth were all hateful and confusing, neither of which she liked.

"No, no, I'd love to go now," Annelise insisted. She grabbed all of the books and newspapers sloppily into her arms as she stood up. "Let me just put these away, ok?"

She then went over to Madam Pince's desk and under her breath told the librarian which books and newspapers she was going to come back for. She hated to lie to Remus, but she didn't see it so much as lying than just not telling him the full truth. She then hurried back to Remus and took him by the hand and led him out of the library so that they could walk to the Room of Requirement. Annelise couldn't exactly remember the last time they had gone there, but she felt excited to go back. She couldn't deny that in the back of her mind she was hoping that maybe one day she could be good enough to take on Greyback, although it really was just a little voice telling her so.

As they walked, Annelise couldn't get Greyback out of her mind. "So, well, I was wondering ... you seem to know a fair amount about Greyback as it is..." she paused, hoping that it all wasn't coming out wrong. She wanted to ask how exactly he knew all of the stuff about the werewolf, but instead she ended up finishing the sentence with, "What do you know about him? I mean, most of the things I've read were just re-tellings of things he has done, and I don't know..."

Annelise trailed off, but didn't finish the sentence. She was hoping she sounded off-hand, but even in her own head she knew she just sounded awkward and desperate.

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[Remus John Lupin]

Remus' fingers carefully avoided the pictures of Greyback while he folded the thin paper. The mere idea of touching- he suppressed a shiver. He could feel Annelise watching him, he expected some questions later - he guessed Annelise had sort of a right to know something, even though he wasn't willing to tell her about his condition, he could at least explain something had happened.. Remus wasn't sure how to go about it yet, and he wouldn't tell as long as she didn't ask, but he realised he'd have to keep the possibility open. It was a thing that was likely to happen, he'd better be prepared.

"I guess I'll figure out what to tell people as I go. Even if I'm not ready to say anything at all at the moment." Remus couldn't help but smile faintly. "Don't forget that you're more important than any of them. Don't do something you regret because you feel you owe them," he softly said, smiling at her a little surely now. "It's not like the have a good reason to have a right to know. Not even I have a right to know, really." It was true - Remus had never met Jakob, after all, why would it be any of his business?
Remus knew it was unpleasant to realise some people were decidedly terrible without a good reason; he had learned that some things in life happened without good reason, as well. Not everything had a reason, it would be silly if it was.

"No, no, I'd love to go now." Remus smiled, honestly a little relieved he wouldn't be sitting next to his girlfriend reading into his life without knowing. "Let me just put these away, ok?" He nodded, waiting at the library's exit for her, and knew he could only hope she wouldn't just go back and pick them up. Annelise was a free human being, though, who could make her own decisions, and Remus was not the type to 'tell her off' for trying to make sense of things. He knew it wasn't his right or duty to stop her - he could only warn her, and it was up to her what she did with that warning.

Remus couldn't help but feel brighter the moment her fingers laced with his and they were on their way to the Room of Requirement. This was going to be the well-known scenario, this was something they were both comfortable with, and maybe they could just forget (if only for a second) what was happening around them. Annelise, however, seemed unable to let go of the previous conversation. To be honest, Remus couldn't blame her.
"So, well, I was wondering ... you seem to know a fair amount about Greyback as it is..." Remus' smile faltered briefly, but he guessed it would be nonsense to try and deny it. He didn't want to deny it, he didn't want to keep things from Annelise and oh, if only he had had some sort of reassurance of the outcome, he would've told her everything. But the chance she'd react in the exact way he feared she would was too prominent, so he couldn't.
"What do you know about him? I mean, most of the things I've read were just re-tellings of things he has done, and I don't know..." Remus squeezed her hand slightly to reassure both himself and her that it was alright. "Greyback took someone from me once," he softly said, his voice barely above a whisper. "Someone I knew very well, I haven't seen him since." It was true that Remus' personality had changed after the bite. Not much, and he was still mostly the old Remus, but there had been obvious changes, and the human child he had been was gone forever now. Remus guessed this was the best way of describing it now, at least it would give Annelise some form of understanding, and he would no longer feel as though he was lying to her. "What I learned is that Greyback enjoys hurting people, whether he has a quarrel with them or not, and he will strike at the lowest, most vulnerable point if he feels that will give him the most satisfaction."

Remus looked up as the door to the Room of Requirement appeared and took a deep breath as he opened it, stepping inside. The room was fashioned like it usually was when they came to study, apart from the fact it was just a little bit darker than usual - a lack of candles. Apparently both he and Annelise were having a bit of a dark mood today. He quickly fixed it by lighting a fire in the hearth, which had been cold and dark before that, and sat on the couch slowly. Waiting for Annelise to join him, he was not sure if they were going to practise defense or end up talking. Remus wasn't sure which of the two he preferred, either.

[Annelise Westerhof]

Annelise didn't reply to his comments about her not feeling like she owes anyone an explanation. Really, she just wanted to get off the topic of Jakob, even just for a moment. The more she talked about him, the more she saw him in her head and didn't want him there. She just wanted to distract herself from her brother in any way that she could, so she just avoided answering altogether.

When she began to ask about Greyback, she couldn't help but notice his smile falter for only a minute, and began to regret even more asking in the first place. She looked away when he began talking about how Greyback took someone from him as well. She felt guilty for saying anything. She knew she should have kept her prodding to herself. It immediately shook the idea of Peter being a werewolf from her mind, for he saw Peter almost every day. She never knew that he had been affected in the same way as her. She wasn't quite, well, smart enough to realize that he might not have been speaking literally.

They entered the Room of Requirement before she decided to reply. He went and sat on the couch, but she didn't join him. She merely stood in front of the couch.

"People like him don't deserve to live," Annelise stated, darkly. "I wish someone would do something about him. How come things like him get to live in this world when they don't even appreciate life, whereas someone like my brother, who only wanted to live the most he could gets it taken away from him?"

She was more speaking out of train of thought than anything else, but she felt the need to say it. She looked over her shoulder at the fire, and then back to Remus. She didn't feel like sitting and talking. For once, she felt like doing anything but, really.

"Shall we get started?" she asked a bit awkwardly. She was hoping that he didn't want to sit around. Annelise was sick of talking about her feelings as it had been all that she had been doing for the past week or so. Everyone wanted to know what she felt, and how she was coping. So much so, in fact, that she hardly had a chance to breathe, never mind feel or even begin to cope. She just wanted the pain to be over.

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