1001 herbs n' fungi [OPEN]

[Walden Conall Macnair]

When it came to academic ability, Walden knew that most people had a reasonably low opinion of him. Teachers at least, he knew for certain. After all he was barely scraping a P in most of his NEWT level classes, and not only was he untalented but he was disruptive too, mumbling to Mulciber when they were supposed to be listening to the teachers and harrassing most of his female class-mates. The only thing it was well known that he did reasonably well in was Care of Magical Creatures, mostly because his dad had many of the example creatures at home and he had learned how to look after them since he was quite young. So that was one thing he could be smug about - not that he wasn't smug in showing off his ignorance in other classes though. In fact Walden thought it was rather cool, and wore his bad-student-badge with pride.

However, despite popular opinion Wally did have other skills, outside of CoMC (well, if you asked him he'd tell you that he has countless skills, most of them imagined and many to do with his sexual prowess). One of his small array of actual skills was a slightly-extra-curricular knowledge of Herbs that unfortunately didn't get a chance to show itself to its full extent in normal Hebology classes. Walden was more concerned with thieving small amounts of ingredients from the Greenhouses after class and mixing them on his own. His mother had been a dab hand at choosing different herbs and plants to mix in teas and simple potions - mostly to help her darling boy when Walden fell ill as a child, or as a change to beautifying potions. As he grew older, Walden, who was a keen athlete, became more interested in herbs he could chew or burn or mix into liquids that would make him stronger, faster or at least look the part. Mrs. Macnair, who admittedly had spoiled Wally rotten all his life, was there to help this purpose in the Summer, but at school merely instructed him on which to ask the Herbology and Potions Professors for, nicely, of course.

But Wally worried it might interfere with Quidditch. They might (wrongly of course) think that the enhancements were cheating in some way, and despite the fact that Wally was a dunderhead in class, he was not stupid enough to advertise his endeavours to the teachers. Which unfortunately meant he had to inconvenience himself every so often by sneaking down to the Greenhouses, which were thankfully often unlocked. Tonight was one of those nights. Slightly worried that his stomach would go flabby with only three nights a week jogging and flying on the Quidditch pitch, Walden snuck out onto the grounds earlier than usual. He hunched over, tongue sticking out in expression of deep concentration as he tried to free some Gurdyroot as quietly as possible. Walden looked slightly more grumpy than usual, both from flabby-stomach worries and also getting caught in the rain as he snuck out, and wanted to work quickly. He needed lovage and nettles as well, according to his Mum's note, and would need to work quickly. He was just wrapping the Gurdyroot in some brown paper so it wouldn't stain the pocket of his robes as he hid it away, when a sudden small noise near the entrance of the Greenhouse he was sneaking around in made him stop. Crouching down, Walden squinted in the darkness, instinctively tensing up and clenching his fist.

"Whossat? Who's there?" He called gruffly into the semi-gloom. This calling out was admittedly, not the best idea, but whilst he was reasonably good at stealing herbs and CoMC, Walden had still taken a few bludgers to the head in his time, and had always been a bit dim to begin with.

[severus snape]

Severus wasn't a particularly good herbologist. He didn't particularly care for plants, and hey seemed to enjoy clinging to life all through a herbology practical assignent. Right until the very last evening. No matter what he did, they would then promptly wither and die. Quite spectacularly in some cases. It didn't matter if he watered them, they died. If he didn't water them, they still died. If he did or didn't add fertiliser, if he touchedthe pot or left it where it was, if her even checked on it ornot, it would always die. Without fail. If there was a green thumb, and supposedly a brown thumb, Severus was certain his thumb was black, or red, which is as far from green as one can get.

Severus also wasn't the sort to come to the greenhouses to enjoy the sights and smells of various plants in bloom. All he could think was what uses he could put them to. Or alternatively, how useless they are.

Of course, some plants weren't so much useful as recreational. And hwne he'd seen the wide leaves he'd known instantly that he was in possession of something very very worthwhile. However, HE'd foolishly bought some previous to coming back, so when he stocks ran out, he lasted a day before thinking back to that unassuming foliage in the greenhouses...

He'd hurried down as soon as he though it safe, a water repplling spell in place, though for some reason, a little mist seemed to still hit his cothes. He should probably work on charms more. He reached the greenhouses, and was surprised to find that the one that was of interest to him was open. He wouldn't even need the screw driver. Most wizards thought of wards, but forgot that the lock on a door could easily be removed entirely, even if t had been spelled locked.

HE put the tool down in one of the terracotta pots, making a small chink noise, and straightened up. IT was towards the back. He shoul-
"Whossat? Who's there?"
It sounded threatening. Though could just be a Jarvey, or some security system to stop students breaking in, so he froze, wand drawn, and waited. One breath. Two breaths. Three breaths..... No. Nothing. Just a ruse then. HE stood up again and almost silently stalked towards the back of the green house, He couldn't see anyhting hiding in the St. John's wort, or among the Mandrake leaves. Just a clever ruse.

If his bearings were right, he'd be near the Gurdyroot.

[Walden Conall Macnair]

Walden tried to think on the bright side whilst he waited, terse with fists still clenched in the darkness of the green-houses. At least he knew now that the phantom intruder wasn't a teacher. A teacher would have announced their presence right away and he'd probably be being dragged off by the ear to a detention right now - that was another thing he hated about Hogwarts, dragged off and yelled at by Professors half his size, weedy little bastards who couldn't throw a punch to save their life but could sure as Circe come up with imaginative punishments. But it was hard to think on the bright side. He had already been grumpy when he had arrived in the greenhouse and the consolation that the intruder spoiling his fun wasn't a teacher was little consolation in itself. In fact he'd rather that they'd have announced themselves or buggered off loudly rather than lurked in the darkness like a spineless - there was no other word for it - Hufflepuff! Wally hated suspense when he was on the wrong end of doling it out.

And, though he may have lacked.. ahem, classical intelligence Walden had been in enough fights to know that the intruder had not in fact, buggered off. He was still around in the Greenhouse somewhere, even if he was unnaturally quiet. Walden squinted into the gloom, tested out the space with his balled fists and licking his top teeth, as though somehow he had developed an animalistic ability to sniff people like this out. Unfortunately he did not. Instead Walden shifted a space forward and felt himself knocking into an appropriately (almost like a plant itself) weedy form just in front of the Gurdyroots. Far too greasy to be a plant though - Wally reckoned he must have caught some hair and neck when he banged into the plantmanorwoman. With reflexes a seeker would envy - adrenaline had always been in his favour when a fight was even potentially on the cards, especially whilst in a bad mood - Walden didn't wait a second before launching himself towards the intruder, attemping to grapple him by pinning the intruder to himself, with a very rough blow to the shoulders in tow, making the accidental bump to the head/neck seem like a gentle handshake.

"Gotcha!" Walden shouted, forgetting that he was supposed to be undercover. He had also evidently forgotten temporarily that he was a Wizard, having an unfortunate habit of diving in with his fists first and letting the wands come later - a practice he would sneer at amongst the mudbloods and half-bloods but found perfectly acceptable for himself. Belatedly, he retrieved his wand from his robes pocket and gruffly muttered "Lumos!" Recognising his plantman intruder, Walden's face split into a wide albeit not altogether friendly grin. "Snape, mate, I appreciate the sentiment but yer not my type. And creeping around after people you fancy wildly, in the dark is the kind'a thing that'll get you int'a trouble" He may have recognised the figure, but made now attempt to rearrange himself into a more friendly stance of greeting.

[severus snape]

Pacing towards his intended location, Severus' near silent even footfalls were interupted when something very heavy and solid smacked into the side of his head. As he reached for his wand, slightly stunned, the attacking vine, probably as thick as Severus' thigh wrapped itself around him, but only after thumping him heavily.

Now, winded and dazed, Severus realised that what he had mistaken for a vine was not planty enough, and there was a distinct smell of a certain abrasive cologne that Severus was sure he had only smelld on one other person before.
"Macnair.." He managed to gasp out just as wand-light blazed in front of his face, almost blinding him. He was startnig to get...well not scared..just...nervous. And who wouldn't be!

"I don't fancy you!" Severus struggled against the effective restraint of WAlden's arm-and how the hell did he get such a thick bicep?! "I just- I'm collecting ingredients!" He lied effortlessly even with the metaphorical and physical pressure he was under. IF he'd been more of an addict and gone yesterday or less of an opportunist and gone in a few days time he would have avoided the neanderthal throwback of a beater who currently had a firm grip on him.
"What are you doing here?"

"Uh..Walden...Let go of me."There was a hint of a question, Severus didn't hae that much of a death wish after all, even if he had wondered if it was an easier way out after the Pants incidnet of last year.