Enthusanasia • Wally

[mulci]

Mulciber had never been bright. He'd been too boisterous as a child, rushing into too many corners of tables. As a young teenager he'd been too agressive getting oi many fists to the head. And now as a beater, he took too many bludgers to the head for it to simply be a technique to block them.

Mulciber had also never failed at an elective class though. Yes he'd had his fair share of poor and even a smattering of Troll, but come exam time he'd scrape an acceptable from re bottom of only god knows where. Now though...
His current review predicted him an optimistic E in charms from Professor Flitwick, a decisively capital P from Mcgonagall, clearly a reflection on the old witch'e prejudice and not on his decisively poor transfigurations essays and shoddy wandmanship in practical sessions, and a flattering A in Potions where he was very able with a knife but terrible with the rest of the procedure. It was only his continued acquaintance...no, alliance, for it was definitely not friendship, with the potions prodigy in the year below him, Severus "Sevo" Snape.

Oh yes. And Silvanus Kettleburn had told him that he'd scrape a Troll in the written, but not even be gradeable in practical sessions. Rich coming from a man who's lost most of hi limbs to animals and magical beasts. If he was so damned perfect at interacting with magical creatures, then why was he lacking so many body parts that mulchbwr found himself in fill possession if.

To tell tv truth, Mulciber didn't care mud for grades o exam results. But this was Care of Magical creatures. It was his best friend's best class and a class he atuall enjoyed on occassion. He'd taken it to spend more time with his best mate, but now he felt like he was showing the other slytherin up.

Thats why he was lying awake in bed early on in th evening for him, and staring at his canopy, an unopened textbook beside him the spine of which had never been broken. Mulciber had read the front and back of the book in question, but had never bothered opening it and deciphering all the tiny little letters and all the diagrams and the waflle. What did he need it for anyway? He could just grab a ravenclaw and... Persuade them to do it for him, or copy off Sevo's notes.

Picking up his wand he muttered a spell and a nearby miniature bludger the size of a golfball and the consistecny of a stress ball zipped into the air and began to attack him. After swinging his wand at it, then his open palm. Then the book. After all that, Mulchber just huffed out a breath and let the small replica batter his head.

Mulchber would never be bright.

[Walden Conall Macnair]

Wally was serving his fifth detention of the new school year - for setting off a dungbomb in Herbology, scrapping said dung off the roof of Greenhouse 2 without magic. Downright cruelty, Wally thought. Usually, the fact that he had already marked up five detentions in the first month of term would be something to brag about, to add to his superficially cultivated image of a 'bad boy' (that really, only himself and probably Mulciber found as impressive as Walden liked to think), but in reality, it was a bit of a pain in the arse. As was most things this term. It seemed that the detentions as well as the classes had suddenly become much more difficult. It was harder to get by copying off other people, or by bribing or intimidating smarter students to do the work for him (harder, but not impossible, and was mostly how he had weasled his way back in for seventh year). He didn't even bother to try to take notes in most of his classes now, and NEWT's seemed a distant and laughable concept. Walden was beginning to think he had outgrown school altogether, although for the sake of his parents he had agreed to at least try to pass his seventh year.

He supposed that, boring as it was, this was his last year to at least have some fun before being bundled into a even more boring job. During their careers classes in the previous years, Wally had been bored out of his skull. The only job he had any real interest in was in following his father into animal breeding, if only for the change to rather sadistically exterminate the runts of each little, or even better, he had been intrigued by a Ministry leaflet on a career as an executioner. Really, what Wally wanted to do had darker connotations. He had heard enough whispers in the past year or so about the growing Death Eater movement to know that that was where he would really fit in, and that was what he really wanted to do. But it was difficult, even in Slytherin, to talk about such taboo things at Hogwarts, where even the walls (often literally) had ears. Another downside of school, he supposed.

Although, Hogwarts did have its upsides too. He still had Mulciber to wreak havoc with, and to a lesser extent, the rest of their friends and room-mates. He could usually let off steam with them. Which was exactly Wally's intention when he finally left the greenhouses after what seemed like an age, and trudged back to the dungeons. Mulciber would know how to cheer him up, they always managed to rustle up something entertaining to do in the evenings. Which is why Macnair was so crestfallen when he arrived in the seventh-year boys dormitory to find his best-friend lying on his bed, being battered by a charmed bludger with what looked like (but it couldn't be) a textbook lying open on the bed.

With reflexes nowhere near seeker-standard (but still pretty damn impressive in his opinion) Walden reached out and grabbed the charmed stress-bludger in one ham-sized fist, smirking at Mulciber. "A'right mate?" He nodded, amusement hiding disappointment, at the previously untouched but now very battered looking textbook. "Hitting the books are we? You're a right geek nowadays" Walden realised the bludger which pinged against his best mate's head, for emphasis, and then collapsed heavily on his own bed next to Mucliber's, kicking off his muddy boots with a smirk. Really, this was the first time Macnair had seen Mulciber go near a book out of choice in the history of their friendship, so geek was a bit of a stretch.

[mulci]

Mulciber let the bludger batter him and lay there on his bed, having decided that he was never going to pass this subject. But then again, he was also never going to need it. In fact, he decided there and then never to learn a single thing ever again.

There was a pause in the rhythmic pounding of the stress bludger and Mulce looked up at the face of his best friend and fellow partner in crime and list-making and sporadic attacks on the student geek population. In answer to thee question he was asked he groaned and kicked his friend none too lightly with a monogrammed-sock clad foot.

"That muggle lover Kettleburn is going to fail me. He says I won't even get a T. Stupid squib. " He sulked a little, glad that Wally was here. Wally was a very good listener sometimes. Where bitching about various residents of Hogwarts Castle and discussing the merits of various underwear choices among the female population was concerned. And that one time about their own underwear choices when playing quidditch...

He snorted. "yeah..I know right. It's this stupid subject. They don't teach it right. You'd be much better at teaching it amigo. " HE blinked. "You could teach me! But... I can't be arsed with this stuff. I don't need it. I never will either." Then he hit upon a master stroke as the bludger smacked into him again and he caught it just as it came round for a double whammy."as soon as we're out of here I'm going to forget it all." He smirked.

This idea was not born of childish revenge against his teachers, but of Mulci-logic. Which is in actual fact a far worse reason than spiting one's face by cutting of one's nose. Beaming, he sat upright.

" See the problem is, all this stuff about how to properly wash a kneazle is taking up room in my brain. It's stopping me from learning lots of other really important stuff. Like......" After a pause he kicked his book off his bed into the trunk where a full set of seventh year textbooks, almost completely pristine, except for 1001 magical herbs and funghi which, being the thickest, had been used as a hidey hole for a bottle of vintage firewhiskey. Stretching he shrugged. " I can't think of an example because of all those stupid thingsthey teach us crowding my head. See? THat's how bad it is. IfI could think of an example, there wouldn't be a problem." HE puffed out his chest slightly. "You and me, Walden, we're too mature for this. We shouldn't be here. They can't keep us here now that we're officially adults. We should just trash the whole school, and shove kettleburn into one of those cages he uts the creatures in and leave. You know what I mean, hombre?"

Mulci's loose tongue could probably be attributed to minor concussion. Or to the fact that the 1001 magical herbs and funghi book was displaced in his trunk, and somewhat lighter than it had been this morning.

[Walden Conall Macnair]

Wally fell heavily onto the bed next to Mulciber's, snorting sympathetically at the mention of Kettleburn. "He's just jealous you've more limbs than him. Bet he's sexually frustrated, I mea he could hardly wank eh?" Wally was used to making his best mate feel better, and vice versa, by bitching (and occasionally beating up) whoever and whatever had annoyed him. In the case of Kettleburn, Wally could sympathise to a degree. Kettleburn was indeed, stupid, probably a squib (or maybe that was a rumour they had spread? They were very good at spreading rumours, it was hard to keep track), and he had been hacked by so many magical creatures that it was getting a bit ridiculous - how were they expected to learn how to take care of Magical Creatures by a man that was regularly their snacks!? On the other hand, Walden hadn't had as much trouble with being threatened with bad grades. COMC was the only subject he was half-good at. He was failing most others. But watching his dad euthanise plenty of animals at home had provided Wally with a slightly sadistic pleasure in ahem.. caring for Magical Creatures, and an aptitude for it. Except for a few.. accidents in the past, he was doing pretty bloody well. Wally liked to think it annoyed Kettleburn, that he couldn't shout at him.

With this point in mind, Wally nodded along vigorously. "They donnae teach it right at all. Half the creatures they use are examples are runts in the first place." He bridled a bit at the suggestion that he could teach the class, smirking a bit smugly. But not too much that it would annoy Mulciber. He had the balance of that down to a 'T'. "Probably... But then again I couldnae be bothered teaching that bunch of idiots. I'd give you private lessons. Proper interesting ones, like."

Although others would have been lost at Mulciber's tirade or found it abit nonsensical, Wally understood it completely. It was one of the things he had got used to, Mulce was his best mate after all. He liked to think that their way of speaking, largely nonsensical rants with mingled Scots, Welsh and Spanish dialect, and enough swearing to turn the air blue, was just misunderstood by the majority of the school because they were, simply, much better than the rest of the school. "I know exactly what you mean, hombre" Wally agreed, his thick accent butchering Mulce's throwaway Spanish terms as usual. "Far too mature for school. I couldnae give a flying bludger about NEWT's." He added in a slightly grumpy grumble. "Dad wants me to finish before he can get me a job in the Ministry though..." Wally yawned lazily, partly at the thought of the job at the ministry -exterminator, executioner, wickedly interesting he supposed, but he couldn't help but want something where he could show his sadist side just a little bit more. Unfortunately those kind of jobs were usually restricted to grotty little hovels in Knockturn Alley, and those didn't pay well. Stretching out, he glanced at Mulciber. "Thought anymore 'bout what you want to do after we leave yet?"

[mulci]

Mulce heard a thump as his comrade in arms plonked himself into his own bed. "Yeah....YEAH! He's not ripped or from one of the old families so he might as well just cut off his-" Mulce paused, a slightly delighted horrified expression on his face.

"Hey...HEy, amigo...What if a thing bit that off too? MAybe that's why he hates me." He eyed himself and saw his pectorals, then the [only slightly enhanced] bulge of his crotch. "I have enough for two down here and I bet the girls are talking about it all the time..." He nodded his shaven head. "Yup..that's why."
Wally was a lot beter than him at the class, and somehow, the other slytherin always managed not to be a geek, or all 'inteligent'[sic] like That Blonde Cousin of Lucius Malfoy's. Mulce was easily more intelligent than her. After all, You didn't have to be only book smart. Andhe liked to think he was 'street-smart'. Plus he was really intelligent at beating. both his quidditch position and the act of punching a geek while Good Staunch old Wally held them, or vice versa.

HE rolled over. "you could teach me though? And proper animals, not the runts. What even are the runts? They sound like a disease!" He laughed.

Mulciber's face creased in a frown and he scratched his head, running his fingers over the stubble. When he replied, his scots dialect was just as silly sounding as Walden's spanish. But it was a sign of their brotherhood.."I didnae reallly think about it yet..." Victor, his father, wanted him out of the house, and working somewhere 'respectable.' His mother didn't care what he did, as long as he visited regularly. Which he intended to do.

"my mother used to do Private consulting modelling for an agency..I was thinking I could set up one of those..but not in Knockturn...and not put those little adverts in sleazy papers..maybe put it somewhere remote, so It'd be me and a house full of girls, eh?" he flexed his biceps in a stretch. "I did hear this one thing though..." He sat up and scoooted to the edge of the bed, glancing at the door quickly.

"did you ever hear about the Knights of Walpurgis?"

[Walden Conall Macnair]

Walden's face brightened considerably at Mulce's suggestion that he could tutor him so to speak in CoMC. He was pretty good in that class after all, in fact if anyone had asked him he'd say he was the best in the class. The best thing about it (as Wally liked to gloat) was that it was natural ability, which made his intelligence in the subject cool. He wasn't slaving away over textbooks all night. And it might be fun to teach the same natural flair to Mulciber if he could. As his best friend, he probably owed it to him, for all the times he'd got Walden out of trouble and never once gotten annoyed over Wally's ogling of Mrs. Mulciber. Plus, it'd be fun to gloat a little. Walden was certain he'd make a good teacher. Lounging back on his bed, he smirked in what he hoped was an intellectually pensive way as though considering the offer. "That could be a good idea actually, mate ..." Walden offered after mulling it over for some moments. "It's not really fair for Kettleburn to fail you, he's such a shit teacher after all. I reckon you'd be great with a proper good teacher, like me."

In fact here was an opportunity to get started on his excellent professor-ship. He imagined himself in front of a class of dunderhead first years explaining what a runt is, as opposed to pick of the litter, imagined how funny it would be to give all said first years as examples of the former. But then, for Mulce he needed different tactics. He would be a caring teacher, just as he was an amazing best friend. Obviously. "Runts are the little shits at the end of the litter. The kind of creatures nobody wants, so they get them in for examples in class for cheap" He snorted derisively at the practice he had overheard his father complaining about in the same derogatory tone, before his face twisted into a slightly sadistic smile. "The only kind thing to do with runts-" He continued, again echoing Macnair senior's words - "Is to drown them in the river once they come out. They're good for nothing anyway" Walden could barely conceal his delight at the practice, having been allowed to 'help' with this practice as a boy with the creatures at home. Quickly his smirk turned into a more friendly grin and he shrugged at Mulce. "Not like us though mates. We're studs, not runts"

The amused smirk remained on Macnair's face as Mulciber outlined his career prospects. "Sounds more like a brothel than a modelling agency to me, amigo. Not that I'm complaining though" He added with a shrug, holding up his palms. In fact it was a pretty nice idea, he imagined sharing co-ownership with Mulciber, with free reign in 'testing' out the models. He became hazy eyed and smiley at the thought. Walden's hazy expression faded with a snap at the mention of the 'Knights of Walpurgis'. With a slight furtive glance at the door to check if they were alone, Walden shrugged nonchalantly, although was instantly interested. "A bit" He conceeded vaguely- "They've got different names though. Some people call them that, and then they're called-" He lowered his voice unconciously - "Death Eaters." Walden looked thoughtful and slightly excited at even saying it outloud, before adding with feigned nonchalance again; "...Sounds like a cushty enough job to me"

[mulci]

There's be no sense in getting worked up over people ogling his mum, the only person who didn't was his father. Even Mulce himself had a lot of love for his mother. A lot indeed.

"EXACTLY!" Mulciber smacked the cover of his bed. If he could get a decent lesson in Care of, He was sure he could get a P at least. MAybe even an A. If he got an A his mum would be absolutely joyous! "Hey, You..You wouldn't mind would you? I mean, I don't care about the studying, course...but-" He shrugged his broad shoulders. "Might be nice to know about animals and shit."

"It's Dumbledore, you know. He's got no sense. Bet he keeps all the money for himself and spends it on sweets and those really bright coloured robes. Elena told me he alsways clashes." Mulce didn't admit to not knowing what clashing was. He just nodded sagely. "We should go drown a couple now, so THa twe can get proper examples. And anyway, it's not like they'd know. THey're animals right? They don't have reall intelligent thought.. Sort of like Muggles." He deffered to Wally slightly, not sure if animals were as stupid as Muggles.
Mulce smirk grew wider. "Yeah, Most of the girls here can attest to that, eh? Eh?" He punched Walden in a friendly way that would leave bruises on anyone else.

Well...It wasn't quite a brothel. A Brothel would be cheaper and have lower calibre girls. His mum always mentioned that girls had to have high Calibres. "Well it wouldn't be some olld Knockturn tart. Only the best, see. ANd only purebloods. Don't want someone's knob falling off because a muggle infected it."
HE grinned. "I'd have...uh...quality control."

"Death Eaters."

Mulciber's eyes lit up slightly with increased excitement at it all. This was just like he'd imagined. The two of them, bonafide Deatheaters. Though obviously, the Lord of Dark Names or somthing would let them wear whatever they liked because they were so good at their jobs. "Yeah...Maybe we should look into it as a career prospect, amigo."

"So..WHat do they actually do, d'you think?" He lowered his voice further, now it was at a stage whisper. "I heard they go out and revict muggles from our lands." That would be a good idea. There were a group of Travellers that always camped on thier land, and the girls were always tempting. If only there was some way of stopping them from infecting him and making him a squib with no bits. Shame really.

[Walden Conall Macnair]

Walden leaned back, thoroughly enjoying imagining himself in the variety of different roles their conversation was conjuring up - star teacher, star (classy) pimp, star Death Eater. This was why he and Mulciber were best mates. He simply couldn't put up with a lot of the more dreary sorts around the school. Slytherin were, as far as Walden were concerned, the best of a bad lot in many ways. But it wasn't that Wally was a misanthrope by any means (in fact he wouldn't have had a clue what it was if he was accused of it). He found good in all people - well, good at a stretch. More bluntly, he knew how to exploit, seduce, coerce, use, befriend and ignore. Apart from his parents, who he was perhaps embarrassingly fond of, and Mulciber, Wally saw people as things to be used or to serve a purpose. Mulce understood this though, he thought. They were similar and it was brilliant - who else would be able to discuss things like this! Who else but Mulciber could match him (well, almost match him) in brilliant ideas like his current CoMC 'lesson plan'.

Walden couldn't help but grin, baring a lot of his teeth, at the idea of drowning runts in the Black Lake as an 'example' to Mulciber. It wouldn't be like the other times he had gotten into a spot of bother in the class, for being too 'heavy handed' with the animals. This was for teaching purposes. All the same, he involuntarily remembered how his Dad had helped to keep him in school and keep those little spots of bother largely under wraps, and was very glad for Macnair Snr. "Alright then! But .. we should probably wait about an hour. It'll be darker then" He spoke with a learned wariness, although it was reluctant. Now that Mulciber had put the idea in his head Wally was itching to get down to the pen near the lake where they kept some of their more pathetic looking creatures. And pen 3 had a dodgy protection charm on it (it was their own fault really - poor quality control can only lead to accidents). His grin became more smug and knowing when Mulce compared the runts to Muggles, and he nodded sagely, recounting more Macnair Snr nuggets of wisdom.

"'Zactly Amigo! Too many similarities to count. But I mean, they're alright for a laugh, Muggles, and animals, and both can be .. sortae useful. But after a while,they're just a burden. And there's far too many of both. I mean, if they're not serving a purpose, why bother to have the surplus about, ken?" (This was many Macnair family discussions boiled down to a very succinct account, but with some borrowed terms - although Walden would claim it was all his own philosophical genius)

Macnair was still itching to get down and do some proper 'teaching' on the lawns, but at least now they had a suitably exciting alternative to pass the time. In fact he wondered why they had never openly discussed this before. Death Eaters. Perhaps because it all seemed a bit more real now, seeing as news of them was becoming more frequent even if the Ministry did try to tone it down, and seeing as they were leaving school. If they really wanted it, it'd be in touching distance in just a few months. And who wouldn't want it? Walden's eyes glinted hungrily as they spoke of it, and he could barely maintain his casual shrug. "Career prospect eh? ..I have to admit it does sound tempting" He waggled his eyebrows and chuckled, but the seriousness of what he said remained, and the smug grin returned at the idea of making a career out of putting people in their place, revicting them off Wizarding territory - after all the two of them had had the best part of seven years practice in putting people in their place. The thought of giving up their small power over the younger Slytherins and making their way into dreary jobs was sobering and much less appetising to Wally than having even more power in his hands.

"I heard that too. I heard they want to have DarkArts taught here, not that shoddy Defence crap. Like they do at Durmstrang. And they do Unforgivables right off the bat, 'course" Unconsciously Wally twiddled his wand between his fingers, imagining how it would feel - just one flick, bang, you're dead.