Sturm & Drang {Dim}

[havok verdugo]

His feet fell heavily on the stone floor, only a few days ago he was headed this direction sprinting for his life and crumbling upon Alecto. It was a horrible day and she was the one that triggered the doubt in his mind. Havok wasn't one with the Death Eaters even though he clearly was marked, he regretted the decision the second time he looked at Alecto. It actually made him feel sick to his stomach, but he really needed to talk to someone, and someone older more experienced and someone he trusted through and through.

Slipping his hand out of his pocket and toward the door of the Defense Against the Dark Arts room, he heard voices. Damnit he had a class already. Havok should of known, not many would be out of lessons at this hour, aside from him and a few gifted others, or those who decided to skip. Taking a breath he stepped into the back of the classroom and made his way down the side toward Professor Zolnerwich. "Professor," he was interupting the class, it must've been important if he was and Havok hoped he had enough sense to come to Dim about all the issues he has been facing.

"Professor, I really need to speak with you," the slightest hint of urgency ebbed at his voice as he looked up at Dim. He didn't care if he was interuppting in the least, not right now. If it were any other matter he'd not of done it, he would of patiently waited at the beck of the classroom for the lesson to of ended, but this couldn't wait. It was to important to him. He needed to find a solution to his conundrum. Taking a deep breath he looked around the classroom full of second year Hufflepuffs and Ravenclaws. He wasn't to well known around the school and he was thankful it wasn't a 6th year Slytherin Class, he was so thankful for that.

{word count} 355 =/
{comment} opening posts always suuuck but here you are =D

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[Dimitri Mikhail Zolnerowich]

[w00p! And no worry about it being short etc. We'll see how well mine turns out, huh? xD P:]

He was just teaching a class on myths and truth to his second years. It was easy and light in terms of subject matter and mostly theoretical (because, really, he wouldn't bring a real manticore to class!). Lazy teaching, some might say, but Dimitri couldn't agree less. Storytelling was quite a challenge on its own, anyway. The students often expected intense and exciting classes with a lot of practical stuff when they thought about Defense, but the truth was that nothing could be done with proper background theory. Now, these second-years were very unlikely to run into Bicorns and Chichevaches unless they actually went to look for them, but that was okay - this class was more of a exercise in critical thinking (and that was something that should never be underestimated).

"...you see that Muggle-gender aspects can filter into mythology depending on the contemporary social issues. This is most noticably the case when it comes to the Chichevache, which Muggles most commonly know from Chaucer's 'Canterbury Tales', as it-" Dimitri paused as the door opened, confused for a moment because he was sure all students were present. He would recognise Havok's accent anywhere, though. "Oh-" He was just about to tell him to come back in fifteen minutes (when the class would end), but then he saw the expression on the teenager's face, heard the slight strain in his voice. Whatever it was, it seemed that it couldn't really wait.
Glancing at his class, he could see a group of half-attentive second-years who were beyond really listening anyway. He nodded at Havok and addressed the class a last time. "It seems something has come up." He cleared his throat. "For next week I'd like you to make a comparison of two creatures which are similar in some way. You can pick the creatures and the aspects you wish to focus on yourself, for example the physical similarities for the unicorn and the bicorn or the manticore and the cockatrice, gender-associations for the bicorn and the chichevache. Describe the differences and similarities, where they come from, and how it influences the way you would deal with them, should you ever run into them. You can include both elements from mythology and socio-cultural influences, but you'll need to be critical, okay? I'll have books made available to you in the library tomorrow."

It took the children a few moments to realised they were getting out of class fifteen minutes early, but then they started mumbling and shuffling and putting their stuff back in their bags. Dimitri, sitting on one of the empty front desks, beckoned Havok over and waited for the last student to have left the classroom before closing the door and turning back to the sixth-year. "Are you okay with talking here or do you want more privacy? I have a small office I hardly use just to the side here?" Meanwhile, he was wrecking his mind about what could be bothering Havok. Sure, he wasn't the best in his class, but he was bright enought to do well enough and he had the ability to think out of the box occasionally. Somehow, though, Dimitri suspected this wasn't about class. He hoped he could help with that, really - if it was some sort of problem concerning social life or relationships.. well.. let's just say that was not his expertise!

[havok verdugo]

Havok looked over the classroom as Dim excused them. Unlike most, Havok was attentive in his studies, perhaps a B average, nothing to exciting. He would get a C in potions only to disprove the 'average student' cliche with an A in Muggle Studies, granted he had the upper hand, it was above average.

Balancing on the balls of his feet he looked over at Dim just as the last student left and he sighed. "I think I'd rather talk in your office, who knows who could walk through that door," Havok nodded his head in the direction of the exit . Taking in a sharp breath the two of them made their way toward through the musty classroom and up a single flight of stairs toward the office.

Once the door was shut behind them the Gryffindor boy looked over the stacks of books and parchment. "I really don't know who I can talk to in all honesty and I'm really confused about a load of things." That was the truth, Havok didn't need to lie to Dim, there was no reason for it, and he trusted the Professor that stood before him. He couldn't even talk to Alice, his best friend, about what had happened and that bothered him to no end.

"As few know, my brother Elye was murdered a while back by a werewolf. My father has been lead to believe it was Fenrir." He didn't know if Dimitri knew this information, but it was always decent to fill someone in on information as to why he made the decision he did, even if Havok regretted ever segment of that night. "Sadly my father is blinded by revenge and it is starting to pull me in as well. I've gone to long without answers." Looking at Dim for a moment he continued, "I made a decision instantly without thinking that it will effect me for the rest of my life."

His hand went to the button on his left sleeve and he popped it off. "I'm a good person Professor, I've never wanted to hurt someone and I don't want to. I do not want to cause problems and I swear on my life that I will never harm anyone without perfectly good reason." This is where his heart caught in his throat, stopping for a moment he looked down at his arm then back up to the Professor's face. Hitting the play button he closed his eyes and slipped the long sleeve up to his elbow just to get it over with. "I swore to Carrow that I would feed the followers of he-who-shall-not-be-named information after I roused night of...you know. I was initiated and I want you to believe that it wasn't because of her. I have no interest in her. It was another reason entirely, but now I am torn. I'm closer to Fenrir, I can feel it, but I know this is my contract for death if I disobey. I need help." Finally he opened his eyes to look at one of the Professors he had looked up to this entire year at Hogwarts. "Please."

{wc} 542
{comments} srry it took so long, was working on an essay QQ!

[Dimitri Mikhail Zolnerowich]

Dimitri nodded. "Sure," he said, walking up the few steps to the side office and unlocking the door. The side office was more of a store room than anything, to be honest, but there were a few extra chairs in there that Dim pulled out and sat upon, indicating the other one to Havok. "Sorry about the mess, I don't use this place often," he admitted. At least it was private, though, and that was what Havok had wanted. The room was dimly lit by the light that fell in through the window. It was a rather spaceous place, but the walls were lined with shelves with boxes stacked up and under them.

The moment Havok started talking, Dimitri grew silent. Whatever the student had to say to him, it sounded pretty important. Part of him wondered why Havok hadn't gone to his head of house, but then again the teenager probably had a good reason for that. Either way, Dimitri would try his best to help, if he could.
No, he hadn't known that his brother had been murdered - let alone who had been the prime suspect in his father's eyes. He half nodded at the statement, though, to indicate he'd heard and noted it and also to indicate silent condolences without interrupting him. It was obviously something he didn't talk about easily, so he didn't want to discourage him.

Whatever the decision Havok talked about, Dimitri could imagine it might've been a bad one if it had been made out of anger and a longing for revenge.
He had not, however, expected to see a dark mark on the young man's lower arm. It made a big, poisonous block block of ice drop down his stomach and chill him throughout from there.
"Oh, дерьмо," he quietly swore in Russian and then drew a slow breath. "So.. if I understand it correctly, you joined in order to get closer to Fenrir and avenge your brother?" he quietly asked. "I believe you when you say you're not a bad person," Dim tried to reassure him. "In the end, I suppose.. I guess it doesn't matter why you did it or what you were thinking when you did it - that's not part of the problem," he mused, more to himself, pressing his fingers to his temples. How had Havok allowed this to happen to him? Had he not thought about the consequences?! But no, this was not what he needed to focus on now - they had to find some sort of a solution.

"I know that it is important to you," he started, carefully, "but I think we should leave the Fenrir-matter as it is, for now, and focus on the main problem, do you agree?" It was really more of a rhetorical question.
"I assume you have not let on about your doubts among the other Death Eaters?" Again, rhetorical - if Havok had, he would probably not have been sitting here. "Keep it that way. I know it's not easy, but if you want this to end well, you'll have to pretend. Don't overdo it, just go along with things and blend in and just hope they don't ask anything too demanding of you." He exhaled quietly and inspected the mark on Havok's skin, careful not to touch it. "I don't know much about this," he admitted. "But there must be something to counter it, to sever the connection and undo it, in the end. It might be dangerous, though.. I need you tell me as much about the initiation as possible, do you remember any wandmovements, words?"

His mind was racing. Havok would need to make sure he blended in as long as he needed to figure out how to undo the mark. It wouldn't be enough, though. They'd know his name and his face, so more had to be done to protect him once they had the 'formal' bonds severed..
In the mean time, someone in Havok's position could prove useful to the Order - at least as long as he had to pretend, they might as well ask him to feed them information. But no, he was barely of age, they couldn't ask such a thing of him. Battling the conflicting thoughts in his head, Dimitri turned back to Havok. He'd just listen first and then think some more later.

[havok verdugo]

It was a pain to weigh the options and he took in a deep breath watching Professor Zolnerowich with uneducated eyes on this particular subject. There was to much to digest and Havok wasn't particularly happy with the decision he had made, but he understood where he was now and there was no way he could back out, unless he ended with his death, by their hands.

Ears open and waiting for some sort of closure in the decision he had made he was hoping for the best, but what he heard had tore him a bit. When he spoke about Fenrir he nodded a bit and looked over the assortment of books and papers. "I suppose it would be possible, it is, well Elye meant more to me then that monster's life, but I'll try to forget about it and let other people handle it." Nodding again he took in a sharp breath and watch Dimitri again for some sort of answer.

Then more about doubt and what not, Havok was interested yes, but he wasn't sure if he wanted to be there anymore. "No, I keep feeding Carrow information like I should be, she wants information on the Order, and I'm friends with Alice and a lot of other members, but I've not let out information that could be life threatening or put the organization at risk." There was a lot of talk about other possible things and what he has or has not done, but that didn't rein in his wandering mind.

Initiation, his mind flew back to that night. It wasn't as glamourous as many would assume, there were many oaths to upheald and so much pain. Closing his eyes he took in an unstable breath. "It was dark, very dark, almost as if there was a veil over my eyes, but it was possible to make out other figures." clenching his jaw he kept his eyes closed and thought more about the night, reliving ever step of the way every moment that had ticked past, he's not been able to get this off of his chest yet, he's not been able to tell anyone about it. "It was also cold and I was on my knees in dirt, in some sort of clearing outside." Slowly he found himself pausing in remembrance of what had happened, it was all so clear.

"You brought him to me, and he will serve us, if he fails you fail." Havok kept himself in the center ring of all the Dark Lord's followers, only clothed in pants, no shoes, no robe nothing but a pair of old jeans. Silence then followed and he could only assume what had happened. Keeping his eyes on the dirt of the forest floor, he didn't want to seem submissive, but what choice did he have? It was either to accept this contract of life, or end in death, there was not a second thought, of course he wanted to live of course he wanted to see to it the death of Fenrir Greyback. That was the issue, Havok was blinded by the rage that his brother was off'd by a werewolf in the middle of the night, alone.

Moments had passed quietly, and he was brought back to the reality of the situation. Hands moved across his shoulders, but he wouldn't show any sign of weakness he couldn't, but he also couldn't be defiant. There were slight murmurs in the background, but the everything was a blur. "Stand up Gryffindor." The voice had belonged to the man whose hands tightened on Havok's shoulders and nearly pulled him up off of his knees.

Lifting his head he made eye contact with the man who was holding onto him, those green eyes he would be able to recognize anywhere. Lestrange. "Do you swear on your death, and the death of your family, that you will forever serve the Dark Lord?" There was silence and he could feel Lestrange's hand move up to his head and his fingers tighten into a fist which clenched his hair. A low whisper echoed through his ear. "You will not make a mockery out of me or Alecto, you will submit to us all, you will endure what everyone has endured before you, and you will not make a fool out of us. Am I understood Verdugo?" Again there was a patch of silence. "Have it your way."

His cold hands were removed from the Gryffindor's shoulders and Lestrange's voice boomed "IMPERIO!" Everything went numb and he found himself kneeling on the ground, the circle erupted with whispers and laughter, but Havok couldn't find himself to do anything, but kneel on his hands and knees. "What will it be Verdugo? Will you join us in life? Or will you give up all hope here and now and join your brother in death for defying us?" Lestrange was making the boy reach for the knife kept in the other Lestrange brother's boot. Clearly the two of them had a strong connection, and they were in this together, until the end as family.

Turning the blade over in his hands he moved back to a kneeling position, the blade aimed straight at his heart. "Will you submit? Will you accept us all as a whole?" Lestrange's voice echoed through his bones and nodded. "Say it Verdugo, say loud and clear so that everyone can hear," the voice was sing song, and excited. There was no mistaking that this was the younger brother, the very same that he walked the hallways with, the very same that he had potions with, the quiet Lestrange, the reserved one. He was different.

"I will serve!" Havok nearly screamed just wanting to get the blade away from his chest, he could feel blood running down his bare skin and eye upon him. Things he hated, but he didn't want to end up like Elye. Was Rabastan telling the truth? Did Elye deny the servitutde and die or was he running for his life?

"Music to my ears," Rabastan's voice was calm and cool now. Havok began to wonder if that was it, but he thought to soon. "CRUCIO!" A flash of red exploded within his vision and he was filled with unexpressionable pain. It had burned through his skin and a scream escaped his lips. "Shut up!" Writhing on the dirt floor of the wooded area he clenched his jaw and began scratching at his chest as if to pull whatever it was that was causing him pain. His nails dug deep into his chest, but he couldn't make a sound. "Who do you swear your loyalties to Verdugo?"

Rolling on his side, he looked Rabastan in the eyes, pain and fire were behind them. "Lord..." he let out a howl and slammed himself onto his back. "LORD VOLDEMORT!" With a gasp everything stopped and a cheer had erupted. Trying to regain his breath he lay on the ground staring at the sky above him. Everything seemed more beautiful, life in itself seemed more precious after enduring those curses and he waited.

"Very nice show Rabastan, just like your brother and your parents," a smooth voice came over his ears and a shadow loomed in his peripherals and demanded for him to sit up. Sweat ran off of his brow and he stared at the ground. Cold hands lifted his chin and he was met face to face with the one and only. The cool tip of Voldemort's wand was placed on the inside of his left forearm began to heat up as the powerful wizard mumbled something indeciferable. It was excrutiating for the sixteen year old, but he could not display that pain. Luckily for him it wasn't anything compared the the Cruciatus. Slowly his fingers began to go numb. "Welcome to the family."

Tears came to the boys eyes as he relieved the memory of that night. "I was alone and I couldn't do anything about it. They forced me to swear fealty, I was put under the imperious curse and was forced to nearly stabbed myself. Later he put me under the cruciatus, there was so much pain, it was blinding as if someone had lit me on fire. He put me through all of the pain an public humiliation just to swear on my life that I would serve, and if I fail he fails. In the end it's pleasant, you're welcomed with open arms by the Dark Lord himself."

Havok couldn't believe he was finally telling someone what it was like to be initiated, his fingers trembled at the mere thought. Looking up at Dimitri, he let the tears run down his cheeks and drip across the collar of his robes. "Just help me, I will do anything and everything it takes to stop them, to stop him. Professor, please." Havok stopped himself before he found himself completely begging the man who he sought after for help. "I just want the nightmare to end."

{word count} 1641
{cooments} sorry it took me so long to respond, and also, sorry it's so long xD

[Dimitri Mikhail Zolnerowich]

Dimitri's mind was going a hundred ways at once and he really had to force himself to focus on what Havok was telling him (rather than think about where to get books on magical tattoos and bonding links and such). "I know it's not easy," Dimitri assured him, seeking eye contact, "but right now, we have to prioritise. We can take care of other matters later." And that was a silent promise - once they'd cleared this up, Dimitri wouldn't mind helping Havok out when it came to Fenrir. Not because he thought vengeance was okay, of course not, but the Order had been after Fenrir as well so it would be killing two birds with one stone while keeping an eye out for his student.
He nodded slowly when Havok said he was supposed to be giving info on the Order. "I'm sure we could arrange something, give you false or semi-false information that you could tell them without harm. We'll figure something out." Dimitri wasn't sure if Havok knew he was an Order member as well, but it was probably pretty obvious that he was, now, from the way he spoke about things.

Silent, Dimitri listened to Havok's recollection of his initiation. A lot of the information was useless to him, but he could understand the student needed to tell someone and he was glad enough to lend his ear if it made Havok feel better. After all, to have an imperius curse used on you - that was just something of a violation, something terrible and painful emotionally. To Dimitri, it was something as bad as rape, maybe even worse, and to think that such a young mind had been submitted to such a horror made his hair stand up and chilled his bones. He could actually feel goosebumps rush over his skin as Havok told him of the cruciatus curse. Devin had been on the receiving end of that not too long ago, but Dimitri had been more than familiar with the curse even before that. Unwillingly, he grimaced and winced.
He sat forward a little when Havok told him about the marking. That was the part he was most interested in. If he could find out how it had been done, he would be able to work on a solution, how to undo it, and they could move Havok to a safe house to ensure he wasn't found. Havok wasn't very detailed about it, though, and Dimitri had been about to ask but then held back. The student looked upset, heavily distressed, more than anything. Maybe now wasn't the time to ask. Dimitri didn't want to push the boy. Only a boy.

"It's okay," he tried to reassure him, quietly. "There's nothing you could've done on your own at that moment. At least you're alive now, focus on that. We'll fix it." Havok was so young. It was so unfair.
Digging into his robes' back pocked, he handed the boy a handkerchief. "Of course I'll help," he promised. It was an easy promise to make, there was no other possible answer in Dimitri's eyes. "I'm not saying it will be easy or quick, but I promise I'll do everything in my power."