Rest Calm [Annelise]

[Remus John Lupin]

You are the moon pulling my black waters
You are the land in my dark closet
Stay by my side until it goes dark forever
When silent the silence comes closer


Last night hadn't been so bad. No, really, it hadn't. He was just sore. Really, really sore. And a bit bruised. And he'd jarred his hip a little, maybe. But no, he was fine.
Last night had been like any other night, really. He'd gone down to the Shack after dinner, his friends had secretly joined him - and after that memories were vague. He just remembered waking up naked and sore (and cold, oh goodness why was March still so cold!?) and Sirius telling him that 'sorry but they really had to go because they'd been late for transfiguration last time and MacGonagall was going to do their heads in if they did it again'. He'd just smiled and waved them off. Only moving one arm wasn't so bad.

Although he didn't get hurt as often during full moons anymore since his friends had joined him (his last really bad time had been the incident last year, a moment that was better forgotten in his opinion), that didn't mean it was painless. Bones, muscles, and tendons so rapidly transforming twice within the span of twelve hours - that was bound to be sore afterwards.
The solstice in December was long behind them though, luckily, so the nights were shortening again. Last night had been cold, though, and despite Poppy's care, Remus found his muscles cramping up. That and he was just so tired. Normally he was quite at ease just sleeping in the hospital wing for hours on end, which gave his body the chance to heal the bruises and other marks of discomfort that the full moon had left on him, but there was this new man in the hospital wing, a new healer - Iain his name was. He seriously got on Remus' nerves, there was just something off.
When Bridgette had joined Poppy, Remus hadn't minded so much. She was calm and pleasant (he could tell just by hearing her work, because only Madam Pomfrey dealt with him). Iain, by contrast, was loud and all over the place. Too loud, like the volume of a record cranked up just a bit too much, and it grate on Remus' nerves. The new male healer wasn't present at the moment, but the mere idea that he could walk in at any moment kept Remus from sleeping as deeply as he should.

He was in a state of semi-consciousness. Remus could tell he was in a bed, he could feel the pillow under his head, the duvet pulled up to mid-chest, clean pyjamas. Deep down he could also feel the ache in his joints, slowly throbbing, and the strain of his muscles, and the usual pain in his bones, like toothache - but all firmly covered and smothered by painkilling potions. He knew he should just give in and go to sleep, but couldn't bring himself to, he didn't quite feel safe.

Imagine his shock when the curtain around his bed was pulled back! Madam Pomfrey wasn't due to check him up yet and his friends would be in class now-!
He sat up with a jolt and winced as a spasm rode up his back, quietly cursing under his breath. Then he saw how it was, however - Annelise. He sighed in relief and sagged back against the pillow. "Hey," he breathed quietly, voice raw, and rubbed his eyes. "Sorry, I didn't quite expect you." He tried to smile, to make it look less bad. He really didn't feel so terribly, but he knew how he had to look - pale, eyes sunken, tired, bruises here and there. Remus didn't want to worry Annelise. He opened his mouth to speak, to ask her something inconsequential about school, but that would just be a diversion tactic - and he didn't particularly want to do that, not with Annelise. She deserved better than a lame change of topic.

[Annelise Westerhof]

Annelise knew last night had been a full moon. In fact, she hadn't been able to sleep due to the fact that she was worried. She knew she was being irrational - Remus had transformed so many times before they even met. He had transformed so many times while they had been dating. It was just the fact that this was the first full moon where she had been aware that he was no longer in his cute human form and was now some snarly, scary beast. He wasn't tucked into bed or anything of the like. Really, the timing was sort of bad as well. Last time they had seen each other, Annelise had lost her virginity to him. The feeling was equivalent to not being called back in a few days. She knew that he hadn't lost interest in her, but it was the paranoid girly part of herself that had bothered her.

Annelise had stayed up all night flipping through the notebook that she used to religiously scribble every interaction she had with people and everything she noticed about people. She hadn't written in it for months. Just seeing the little comments made her sort of feel like she wasn't even the same person anymore. She knew she had changed - but how much?

She took out a quill and found one of the pages with Remus' name on top. Inside, she went to write something about their night together but couldn't find the words to describe it. Instead, she just just left it blank and read about her old entries. Most were about how he had been absent from class. No, it wasn't just Remus that she had paid attention to. It was just looking back through the notes that she had - at the time - thought were insignificant, she felt silly for not noticing that he was a werewolf.

The next morning, she wasn't sure what she should do. Would he even want to see her at all? Annelise had remembered that she wasn't usually allowed to see her childhood friend the day after the full moon because he was 'too tired' or 'too emotionally charged' as his parents said. Regardless, she found herself grabbing some of the chocolate she had from her trunk and then going down to the hospital wing. She hoped that he wouldn't be angry with her. Before Annelise could change her mind, she marched up to the bed where Remus would be laying (as the hospital wing was rather deserted) and pulled back the curtain. Remus looked like death and made Annelise feel sad for him, but she tried to not look like it.

Annelise sat next to him and smiled at him.

"I brought you chocolate," she said, cheerily as she pulled some out. "I didn't really have any other sweets. I haven't stocked up for a while. I think maybe a trip to Hogsmeade is in order."

She took a bite out of a large piece and enjoyed the calm silence that the hospital wing brought. She didn't really ask how he was feeling. She assumed he would tell her if he wanted to talk about it. Besides, it was rather a silly question. He looked like rubbish, so he no doubt felt the exact same way.

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[Remus John Lupin]

Remus was glad the moon had fallen so early in the month, because March was when both James and Remus had their birthdays. Not that Remus was particularly looking forward to his birthday, but he knew James had to be excited about it - becoming an adult was a big thing, obviously.
That wasn't on his mind now, though. He was just glad that Annelise was here, very glad. He'd always expected to feel bad about her seeing him like this, but now she was actually here he felt a whole lot better, more relaxed. Remus felt good to be able to share this with her, he wanted to share this with Annelise. She was the first person whom he had actually told about this (as his friends had, rather, figured it out on their own) and the level of trust this implicated felt reassuringly good.
He hadn't told his friends that they'd had sex. Why? Simply because it was none of their business. Was that wrong of him? Remus wasn't sure, but it didn't feel wrong to him. Things like that were between him and Annelise - he also had jokes exclusively with his friends that Annelise probably didn't get, stuff like that. No, that was just a bad comparison. Either way, this was between him and Annelise and that was how he liked it. (Although, admittedly, the look on Sirius' face if Remus were to tell him that he'd become legendary would have been priceless.)

It was good to see her and he smiled back. "Oh, brilliant," he said, as she handed him a piece of chocolate, and laughed. He still sounded hoarse and tired, but all the more cheerful because she was here. "I haven't got any left either," he agreed, munching thoughtfully. Sticky cacao-taste going straight up to his brain and lightening his mood even more. How he hadn't started associating chocolate with bad stuff was beyond him. "We could make that trip to Honeydukes together, if you like?" Not that he really expected her to decline, but maybe she wanted to go with a friend or something. Remus was aware of the fact that Annelise didn't have that many close friends, but it would be wrong to assume that she'd automatically go with him. Although they were together, they were still individuals.

For a while, they ate in silence and Remus sought out Annelise's free hand, laced their fingers and smiled. He was glad she wasn't asking him how he was doing and all that, he was glad she understood. He was equally glad that she wasn't desperately trying to avoid the subject. It felt natural, this.
When he'd finished his chocolate, Remus sat up a little, shifting on the matress. It hurt a bit, but it wasn't so bad - really it wasn't. He shifted to the edge of the bed on the far and of where Annelise was sitting and gently tugged her arm. "Join me?" he asked with a bit of a lopsided smile and a half shrug, as though he was shy but still expected her to do as he asked. She was free to say no, of course, free to decline. He'd just like her close right now. Not just for comfort, but because he wanted her near, in general.

[Annelise Westerhof]

Annelise was relieved that Remus didn't seem angry that she was there. They never had the discussion on where or not she should visit him after the full moon or anything of the like. It wasn't like Annelise could exactly go to the library and find a book called, "How to Act & Speak to Your Werewolf Boyfriend" or "So You Found Out Your Boyfriend is a Werewolf." These were all new things, and due to the discrimination out there, she doubted that there were many people out there dating werewolves, and if they were, well... she doubted many even knew. Look at Remus - he had kept it a secret from her for over a year! She hoped it wasn't because she was just a little slow sometimes that prevented her from figuring it out.

Annelise's face cracked into a smile when he willingly took the chocolate from her. He sounded a bit off, but it was no different really than the sound of a person coming off the flu. Annelise took the opportunity to close the curtain behind her. She knew that Remus had some story as to why he was always away, and she doubted it was because he was in the hospital wing. She didn't think anyone was going to come in, but she decided it was probably safest to close it. She also didn't know if Madam Pomfrey or the other Healers that seemed to be about would particularly care for her even knowing what Remus was. Or even if she was there.

"You've right out of chocolate? Impossible," she joked lightly as she finished her own piece off. She always figured that Remus had a bottomless bag of chocolate somewhere. "Of course I'd go with you. Unless your friends kidnap you somewhere," she continued. His unexpected good mood seemed to be rubbing off on Annelise, or maybe it was because a dark part of her had expected that he wouldn't want to speak with her after their evening together. "Have you seen them lately? Seems like they've disappeared."

Not only had she not noticed Remus with his mates lately, but Annelise hadn't even seen Sirius or especially James and Peter lately. She half-wondered if something had happened in the group. She sort of assumed Remus would have said something, though, if something happened in his tight-knit group.

Remus asked if she wanted to join him, and she looked skeptically at the single-sized mattress. However, he had made the effort to move over, so she wasn't about to deny him.

"Oh, alright then," she said, cheerily. She peeked through the small opening of the curtain, but there was no one around. She just didn't want to get yelled at. She cuddled into him and placed her head in the nook of his shoulder.

"These hospital beds are quite comfortable, aren't they?" she commented. "They're nicer than the ones in the dormitory! Although... they may be just a little smaller. But I suppose that could be because we're both in this bed."

She laughed, although she had to admit that the comfortableness of the bed was rather dangerous after a night of no sleeping fretting over Remus.

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[Remus John Lupin]

Remus himself was presently surprised that he was taking this so well. He had expected to close up or push her away or feel very ashamed and uncomfortable. He didn't. Remus felt better, much better. When his friends had come by, before, it had also distracted him - but that was the point. It had distracted him and this was completely different. Annelise being here didn't distract him. It didn't offer him a moment to pretend nothing had happened and he was quite normal, it rather confirmed what had happened.. and showed that it was alright if it had.
Although he still wasn't quite sure how Annelise felt about everything, he was glad she'd shown up. Telling her and sharing this with her felt like the best choice he'd made so far in his life.

Thoughtfully, he finished off the last bit of chocolate, wiping the last remnants of stickiness on the sleeve of his pyjamas. He smiled at her gratefully when she closed the curtain - she'd read his mind. Poppy wasn't around right now, Remus knew she was doing paperwork in the office, and Bridgette or Iain never tended to him, but you never knew.
"Yes, fresh out." Remus laughed a little. "I just forgot, I don't know. Either that or what I had mysteriously disappeared again." He rolled his eyes (ignoring his headache) in a way that obviously meant his friends might've gotten hold of it. Not that they'd do that intentionally, of course. They'd plan to put it back and forget or something. Or maybe his brain was just dying cell by cell and he was just going insane. He didn't mind much, either way, because he was going to go to Hogsmeade with Annelise soon and fix that.
He shrugged a little. "Oh, no I don't really have plans with the boys, so.." Remus' voice trailed off a little. They were all so busy growing up. "We see each other, yeah, but Sirius is, well-" He laughed. "Sirius is Sirius, James is busy chasing a certain redhead, Peter is struggeling just to keep up with classes.." He looked guilty for a moment, because shouldn't he be helping Peter out? He used to. He'd just been a bit busy with his own things and Annelise. Well.. if Peter needed help he could always ask, he knew that, right? "Then again, they might also secretly be planning some weird birthday party for James," he continued on a lighter note. Things were probably fine.

He laughed softly as she got onto the mattress beside him, curling against him. For a split second, he stiffened, muscles and joints complaining as she moved against him, her weight shifting on sore tissues. Remus just smiled down on her and shifted to a more comfortable position. He was fine. That she'd checked through the curtain if no one was coming made him chuckle. In all honesty, Remus couldn't care less if someone saw them like this. It wasn't a secret that they were together.
"They are comfy, yup," he agreed, putting an arm around her and closing his eyes for a moment. "In case you have to spend weeks in them, I suppose." And let's hope that would never happen to either of them. A few days was quite long enough!

Closing his eyes again, he exhaled slowly, relaxing in the position he was in without loosening his one-armed embrace (not only because he wanted her close but because the beds were narrow and he didn't want her tumbling out).
"I should've told you sooner," he mumbled quietly, pressing a kiss to her temple simply because he could. "This would almost make me look forward to full moons."
It was a bad joke and he knew it, but he wanted to reassure her. After their night together they'd both been a little insecure about what would come next and Remus was pretty sure what he wanted to come next. More of the same. Even now, as she was beside him, he couldn't help but just feel.. better. Better than his friends had made him feel. Not to discredit all that James and Sirius and Peter had done for him, but really - this was completely different. "How are you?" he then asked. It was a general question, but Annelise was probably able to pick up the subtext - this doesn't scare you too much, does it?

[Annelise Westerhof]

Annelise had no idea what was going through Remus' head, but she had an inkling considering he wasn't pushing her away. In fact, he didn't even seem distant. He seemed anything but. It was almost like he was merely in the hospital wing due to the flu or a broken limb. She quickly mused to herself about how Remus could ever break a bone. Once a month his entire skeleton changed - if he were to transform into a wolf, would that bone still be broken? Would Remus perhaps have quicker healing powers due to the fact that his bones naturally changed anyways? They were all questions she doubted even Remus had the answer to. She wasn't going to be silly enough to believe that just because Remus had lycanthropy that he would have all the answers. It was like someone assuming that because Annelise had been born in the Netherlands that she knew all about the country!

Annelise absent-mindedly rubbed a bit of chocolate that Remus had missed with his sleeve off the corner of his mouth. She hadn't really registered that she had done it. She merely pulled out a napkin, wiped her finger, and then threw it out.

Annelise laughed.

"Maybe I was the one to take it all?" she asked jokingly. "I do seem to have had a random abundance up until now."

She was obviously kidding. There was no way she could even get into the Gryffindor common room even if she wanted to. She didn't know the password and it wasn't like it was Remus' place to keep her updated. It probably wasn't at the front of his mind, either. It certainly wasn't in the front of Annelise's mind to always update Remus on the Hufflepuff common room's password. Besides, she wasn't quite clever enough to come up with a plan to get in secretly. All in all, it would be much too much work just to steal some of her boyfriend's chocolate, which he would no doubt share with her if she asked.

"Just for James?" Annelise questioned. She found since she started dating Remus that she asked more questions. She used to never. It was one of those things that happened when one was around Remus. It wasn't like he was an open book. "If I remember right, it's someone else's birthday coming up to."

It felt like she was reminding him of his own birthday. Annelise's had just past, so she never had a hard time remembering Remus'.

Annelise hadn't realized that her eyes were closed until she felt one of Remus' fingers twitch. Had they put some sort of sleeping powder in the beds, too? She didn't even know if sleeping powder existed, but it must.

Remus actually caught her off-guard by talking about the full moon. It was actually surprising Annelise how little this whole ordeal wasn't bothering her. She sort of thought that she would be completely bothered by it and she would be staring at him as if he would spontaneously die from transforming back. All the thoughts that bothered her when she was away from Remus disappeared when he was around. She found it comforting. She kept her head on his chest and really enjoyed his arm wrapped tightly around her like a seatbelt.

Annelise laughed again, but softly. Was he trying to just lighten the mood? Either way, it was still cute.

"Well, it's comforting to know that you like me enough to pretend that the pain is worth the little bit of cuddling afterward," she said without looking up at him. She smiled, however. She didn't know if he knew how much it actually meant to her that he said that. It made her feel rather... important. She always kind of felt like she was floating through life. She was never much of an academic, and she wasn't very talented elsewhere. Sure, she was great in Care of Magical Creatures, but that class was seen as a joke by much. It wasn't even like she was like Peter with a bunch of awesome friends as support. Annelise was very independent and didn't need friends so much, but it did get a little lonely, and it did make her wonder occasionally if there was something wrong with her. But there couldn't possibly be anything wrong with her if someone loved her and wanted her around even in tough times, right? Someone who stood by her even when her brother died, even when she became obsessed with Greyback...

How was she? She didn't really know how to answer.

"I'm comfortable," she said, simply. She meant it in two ways: in the obvious, physical way that she was comfy as all get out; and in the sense that she was comfortable with what he was. He accepted her even though she had been known to be a little strange, so why shouldn't she do the same for him? Everyone had flaws - some people's were just harder to hide. "I found my notebook. You know, I haven't written in it for over half a year."

She didn't even know if Remus was aware of the notebook she used to write in. Sometimes she just spoke for the sake of talking. It wasn't like she was trying to change the subject by any means - if Remus still felt like talking about his time of month, she would have been more than willing. She didn't really know how much there was to talk about without seeming like a broken record. Maybe if he was hurt? He seemed a little sore, but there wasn't any real injuries. Maybe he would eventually share what he got up to? Annelise wasn't even sure if he'd remember. For some reason, nothing was coming to mind on whether werewolves remembered their adventures in transformed mode.

OOC: I kind of assumed Remus' birthday hadn't passed... lol sorry if you meant to imply that his had already passed xP

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[Remus John Lupin]

Maybe this was a sure sign that he was growing up, actually becoming an adult. He wasn't running from this, he was embracing it as best as he could. Then again, running from it had never been particularly effective, of course. To be fair, the fact that his friends were there at night really made the whole thing easier. Had he been alone last night, Remus no doubt would've been in no state to see Annelise at all, either mentally or physically. Remus wondered if his friends would still be there for him on full moon nights when they were out of school. Post-Hogwarts thought crept up on him more and more often and Remus knew that he couldn't push them away anymore now. A few more months and he would be an adult, he'd need a place to live, a place to transform, he'd have to go to the yearly checkups by himself..
Maybe he should talk that over with Annelise. Maybe they could find a place together or something. He'd have to think about work or maybe a further education soon, too - and to be honest he wanted to involve Annelise in the process. He wanted t0 know her opinions on these matters.

He blinked in surprise as she suddenly moved to wipe a last bit of what he assumed to be chocolate from his lips and quietly thought to himself could've kissed that off with a bemused smile. Then again, he'd been out all night, he probably tasted like old socks. Old socks and chocolate.
"Annelise the chocolate-thief?" Remus joked and chuckled, wincing a bit as it made his hip grind uncomfortably. Hm, maybe he should have that looked at. That really shouldn't feel that way. Later. "Nah, I find that hard to believe," he added with a lazy smile. He didn't mind if she took or used something that was his, either - everything he had was sort of hers by extension, in his mind. He didn't say, though. Maybe she thought that was a bit fast or intense or something.

Remus carefully shrugged a little as Annelise mentioned James's birthday party. "I told them I don't want a big thing this year. Not after all the trouble they went through last year only to have us two run off," he added a little guiltily (but with fond memories!). "I just want a small party. You know - my friends, you, Lena.." His voice trailed off a bit. He hadn't seen Lena for ages, it seemed. "Just something more intimate." He wasn't that much of a party animal, obviously, and he knew Annelise wasn't either - they'd both enjoy a small get together better.

Annelise didn't tense when Remus mentioned the moon and for that he was glad. "I'm not pretending," he mumbled, smiling into her hair. "Your cuddles are definitely worth it." They were in a bed in the hospital wing, separated from the rest of the world only by a curtain, and yet it felt comfortably private and Remus had no qualms admitting how much he cared about Annelise. He hoped she realised how much it meant to him to be able to just say that, but he had a hunch she did. Annelise was, perhaps, not the brightest lumos in the wandshop, but she had a knack for figuring people out. Remus hoped she realised, she deserved to know.
Her admission of being comfortable made him chuckle again (and this time he managed not to hurt to much doing it). "Good, I'm glad." Remus guessed that she meant both mentally and physically. "Your notebook?" he echoed. He had seen Annelise with her notebook once or twice, but assumed it was some sort of diary and had never really asked. There was a question in his voice now thought, as he repeated her words: was this a good thing or a bad thing?

[Annelise Westerhof]

As much as Annelise thought about her future, and within that including Remus, she never gave much - if any - thought about how Remus' condition would affect them. She didn't know all of this. Because of Annelise's non-judgmental mindset, she had a hard time believing that there were people that wouldn't give him a chance just because of his condition. They were all things she probably should think about but didn't.

"Well, being a chocolate thief is the closest I could get to being anything but a goody-two-shoes," she replied lightly. It was true and Annelise always worried that she was ... boring. But maybe Remus wanted boring? Maybe after all the excitement he had in his life, he wanted one thing that wasn't exciting? The thought was comforting, yet depressing at the same time. "I don't think I could ever do anything much more rule-breaking than that... besides, I don't even know if I could do that because then I'd be depriving you of your chocolate, and that would make me feel bad."

Annelise's face twitched a little bit of the mention of Lena. An ugly green monster reared its head but she tried to ignore it. She knew that Lena and Remus were close friends, and she didn't know why it bothered her so much. Well... actually, she did. Lena was pretty, she was smart - she was practically everything that anyone would expect Remus to date. Instead, Remus ended up with thick Annelise while Sirius was on-again-off-again with Lena or something. She didn't know. She tried to avoid asking too many questions about her in fear of arising suspicion.

"That sounds nice. Although I wouldn't put it past your friends to plan something more... elaborate if they got bored," she laughed. She could only imagine them all dressing a little more formally than usual and heading to Hogsmeade to have dinner or something only for the Marauders to have turned wherever they were going to turn into a huge rave. The idea seemed good, though, and before she realized that she was actually initiating a social event, she said, "Why don't we make our own plans? I mean, of course, with your friends as well. It could prevent your friends from doing something bigger. I mean, they're not exactly going to throw you a rave if you were the one who had made the plans?" she was rambling, but she couldn't help it. Honestly, it made her kind of nervous to suggest something for his birthday... especially if he thought the idea was bogus. "Maybe we should all go down into Hogsmeade and dress up a little bit - I don't mean formally, but any means, but a little nicer than usual, and maybe just have a nice dinner? I don't really know if there's anywhere that would actually serve dinner, but we could look." she felt like she was saying 'maybe' too frequently. "I mean, we don't have to if you don't want to. You do only turn seventeen once... it was just a suggestion."

Annelise's voice sort of trailed out. She definitely didn't want formal. She remembered how Lena looked in formal attire and how plain Annelise felt when she stood next to her. Annelise shook her head slightly. She was not self-conscious! She supposed it all had to do with the fact that she had never had a boyfriend before, so these were all things she would have to get used to. There was no way she would ask Remus to stop hanging out with Lena, nor did she have any basis to ask him to stop. She wasn't completely daft, even if her thoughts were a little silly sometimes.

Annelise kissed Remus for saying that her cuddling was worth it. There wasn't much she could say to it, but it still made her feel the warm and fuzzies at the same time.

"I used to write observations about people in it sometimes," she said casually, although her cheeks gained colour. Now that she actually had to explain it, she felt rather embarrassed as if what she did was stupid. "It's just... no one really talked to me, but I still wanted to get to know people and..."

She trailed off. She definitely felt stupid. "It's nothing."

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[Remus John Lupin]

Remus stifled a chuckle (and wondered what he'd done to his ribs). He didn't at all think Annelise was boring - wasn't he the one who was trying to keep up the goody-two-shoes act, after all? Model student, perfect friend, not at all a mauling monster? It wasn't so much that he didn't want more excitement in life, it really wasn't like that. He just wanted her - simple as that. "That's fine," he softly laughed. "I don't need chocolate to live, not really." And he held her a little closer, just a little emphasis on what he did need in his life.
It was probably a good thing he couldn't see Annelise's face as she grimaced. Remus was completely clueless about Annelise's (needless) jealousy. As easily as he had somehow changed into someone who was more open and communicative and loving towards her, he still couldn't read her that well. The things that were plain on her face, that she was sharing with him, were no trouble - but things like this, that she felt but didn't really want him to know, he didn't pick up on those. Perhaps it was for the best.

Remus wouldn't have been able to understand why Annelise saw Lena as such a, well, 'threat' for a lack of a better word. Sure, Lena was nice. He was close to Lena and they could laugh about things, but in his head she ranked as 'one of the boys', really. Sure, she was clever and she wasn't exactly bad-looking, but that latter part was something Remus simply never really noticed. Sirius thought Lena was attractive, obviously, with all their flirting going on (or whatever it was they were doing, because Remus didn't understand anymore), but it had never really occurred to Remus, to be honest. Lena had just always been a friend and he couldn't imagine her anything else.

Lazily, he trailed his finger around a lock of Annelise's hair and smiled at her before closing his eyes again. "Me neither. I half expect them to come up with something mad, but that's okay - I just don't want some massive party in the common room or anything, with all these people I don't really know and never really speak to." And he couldn't really forbid his friends to do something insane, could he? It was part of them, that little bit of madness, and it was refreshing and good - depending on what it was, Remus didn't think he'd mind too much.
He opened his eyes again at Annelise's suggestion. Part of him wondered if she maybe didn't want to go out with his friends. There had always been sort of a gap between Annelise and his mates, which he didn't like at all - but then again it wasn't that strange that there was a gap like this, was there? Friends or lover - that was miles apart. But did it have to be so hard to reconcile? He brushed the thought from his mind for now. "Sure, yeah - I'd like that." Remus smiled into her hair. "Dinner with you and my friends sounds perfect," he assured her, because he might be stupid when it came to reading girls, but it was obvious she was a nervous about it. "How about we sit down tomorrow and think about it?" he didn't want to be rude, but after a night of non-sleep, Remus had to admit that his brain was not in an optimum conditions for planning parties.

Shifting a little to pull Annelise closer, he thought about what she'd said about her book which he hadn't known about. She was embarrassed about it, because he could practically smell her blushing (something that would've felt like intruding before and now didn't) and he instinctively pecked her lips once, twice. "So a bit like a diary about other people?" he asked, making a point of not sounding like he was judging her - because he wasn't. He was just curious. "No, it's not nothing, it's okay." He could quite imagine what she must've felt like - the same he had when he'd come to Hogwarts at age eleven. Sadly, she had apparently not been as lucky as he had, because James and Sirius had simply insisted on being his friend, despite his hesitations at first. "Nothing wrong with wanting friends," he assured her.
To be honest? Part of him was a little curious about what might be in there. But no, that was personal, and he wasn't going to ask.

[Annelise Westerhof]

"Well, chocolate is certainly a bonus in life," Annelise replied. "There's a lot we don't need, but it certainly makes our lives better. Like, we don't need magic, but it certainly makes our lives easier, doesn't it?"

Maybe she was looking too much into it. Really, coming from a Pureblood family, Annelise had no idea what it would be like without magic. She had no idea what would really go into being Muggle, and if she did... well, she would have been surprised in the very least about how hard it could be.

Annelise was indeed very happy that Remus couldn't read her jealousy. She knew it was stupid. It wasn't one of those situations where she made a face because she was secretly hoping that he would pick up in it - she legitimately realized that her jealous feelings were unfounded.

His response to her suggestion sort of hurt her feelings and she wasn't sure why. For some reason, she had thought that he'd be all for it. It wasn't like she was cutting out his friends or anything like that. It was just that he said he liked the idea but then said that he'd have to think about it. To her, it didn't make sense. She supposed her feelings were only hurt because she never really suggested much. She usually just went with the flow, so for her to actually pitch an idea for something to do - well, it just wasn't something that she typically did.

"Yeah, that's fine. Just let me know when you make up your mind, OK?" Annelise didn't sound upset at all. She tried to keep her voice sounding neutral. If it wasn't his sort of thing, it just wasn't his sort of thing. There wasn't anything she could do about it. She just wished that she realized it before she had rambled on forever about the idea.

Surprisingly, she was actually relieved when the conversation went back to her journal. She would have gladly talked about that at this point than discuss her (in her mind) shot-down idea about his birthday.

"Yeah, I guess that's what you could call it. I used to always have it on me, I'm surprised you never noti-" she paused and actually blushed. She was going to say that she was surprised that he had never noticed that she had it. She supposed that although she had noticed him before that he had never given her much notice in return before they were dating. The thought make her feel a little sad, but that didn't matter, did it? They were dating now, they loved each other. She just knew it would be nice to feel like he had noticed her and that he had gazed upon her like there were no other girls. What was with Annelise today? She was acting all hormonal and irrational. She just assumed that maybe it had to be PMS or something. "Depending on the person, they'd have their own page and I'd just add on to it. Other people would just get mentions. It kind of depended on how frequently I saw someone."

Annelise actually found that talking about it wasn't as hard as she initially thought. Maybe it was because she had been with him for so long that it felt like he wasn't going to judge her for anything. It was a comforting feeling.

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[Remus John Lupin]

He smile slightly and exhaled, relaxing. "Yeah, I suppose chocolate does make it better. Chocolate and sunshine and you - all I need," he mumbled. He had been on edge before Annelise had come to visit, unable to sleep properly because of that new loud healer they had, but now she was here, he felt better and strangely protected - he had to fight against dropping off and falling asleep while she was still talking to him. That'd be rude. He didn't fancy being rude to his girlfriend.
It already seemed to have happened, though. Not that Remus realised. He hadn't meant to give her the idea that he didn't like her suggestion, because he did - really, he did. He was just aching and tired and not looking forward to his birthday that much, really, so he'd get back to her about the whole thing later. "Tomorrow," he muttered into her hair, his eyes still closed. "Tomorrow, first thing."

Remus had thought talking about something to personal as her journal would've been uncomfortable between them, but it wasn't really. It felt natural and intimately pleasant, like there were no more secrets between them. He'd never cared for secrets, even if he was really good at keeping them.
"Hm." He quietly hummed. "I wouldn't say I hadn't noticed.. but I just assumed, well.. that it was a regular journal or that you were, I don't know, copying notes. I don't-" He chuckled breathily, softly, and felt himself blush. "I don't know what girls do in their spare time much, still don't I guess." It was true. He'd seen a classmate writing and simply dismissed it - this was a school, people were writing all the time about tons of things and for lots of different reasons.
He resisted the temptation to ask what she'd written about him. He didn't need to know. He didn't want to know - not about himself nor anyone else. It was wonderful that she'd even told him about the book's existence, he didn't need the details if she didn't want to share them. "For someone who says she barely has any people skills, I bet you've learned a lot about everyone," he quietly said. Of course he wasn't going to judge her, she hadn't done that much out of the ordinary, to be honest. Everyone observed each other these days, tried to interpret classmates and strangers - the only thing different is that she'd written it down.