hope for the future | Sirius

[Lena Marie Becket]

Life around the castle was becoming the most hectic it had been all year. The end of term was now in just a matter of a few very short weeks and then the 7th years would be graduating as they all left to go back home. Lena and her friends would return to Hogwarts in three months after that as 7th years. It was weird to think about how this would be their last summer of freedom before they had their final year and then would be sent out into the world looking for jobs and their futures. She truly and honestly still had no idea what she wanted to do when she graduated but an idea had grown in the back of her mind after a dream that maybe, just maybe, she could be a dance instructor. And bring actual dance classes into the wizarding world. She had never seen a dance studio and no one ever mentioned it, probably having been taught by teachers their rich parents got them. But maybe a teacher that could help students from all walks of life would be good?

The boys hadn’t heard her idea yet, slightly because she was afraid they would think it was silly, but also because they had bigger problems to handle. The day she had told, well, yelled, that she had been raped and Sirius had figured out who had done it, Siri had ran out of the Commons to track down Silvanus and attack him. Lena had followed, not wanting one of her best friends to get hurt because he attacked a teacher but things didn’t end up as horrible as they could have. Oh, there was a fight and such, but neither man died and Sirius didn’t get expelled so things actually went fairly well. And things ended there except that they all dropped Care of Magical Creatures, Sirius’ idea, and the boys would send the professor menacing looks every chance they got.

Lena was just glad that it was over. She still hurt and the nightmares were still there but it seemed as if finally telling Sirius and Remus became a balm and she didn’t actually hurt as much as it had before. That it wasn’t as raw. And then they were all busy with tests and homework and essays that they didn’t even hang out as much. Though Lena and Remus would still study together, it wasn’t the same. And she still was a bit shy around the dark haired Marauder because she didn’t know how things were between them but she did think that if he had still had even the slightest interest in her before he knew, surely it was gone as soon as he found out she was damaged now. Used goods. No guy would want to deal with that. But she did talk to him at times and her flinching at every touch or even the smallest look of anger was easing a bit which Lena thought was a huge improvement.

It was one of those stifling days where the sun was shining brightly but the heat was thick in the air. The cold stone of the castle didn’t seem to cut any of it and everyone was walking around in as little of the uniform as they could. Ties were gone, shorter socks, sleeves rolled up as much as possible, hair all pulled up. Everyone was feeling it and some tempers seemed to be a bit frayed. She just knew that she was finally done with class, her last period for dinner being empty now without CoMC, so she was going to change into something else as soon as possible and try and get cool while starting her scheduled study for the day. A pair of shorts and a shirt was all she needed, her hair staying in the up-do it had been in all day off of her neck. With the first part of her mission completed she grabbed her bag of books and went down to the library, hoping that the large space would be cooler as heat rises which should mean the space should be comfortable to study in. Once at her usual table she spread out, tucking into her studying, trying to keep an eye on the time as she did, so as not to miss dinner. If she did Remus would probably hunt her down and get onto her for “hurting herself” like that again. So, she had to make sure she ate. Getting a lecture from Remus was never fun.

this is for SIRIUS! it came out to be a lovely 758 words long, and my character is wearing something like CLOTHES. Hope this works.. The thread template was made by GREEN EGGS AND SAM! of caution 2.0 and the lyrics in the text are from forget paris.

[Sirius Black!]

[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=style,padding-left:16px; padding-top:0px; padding-right:0px; padding-bottom:0px; background-image:url(http://i51.tinypic.com/2nbr3oi.jpg) ] & you can tell the world that you're tired but your excuses, they won't work - - - - - - - - - - - - - - Sirius' face was still bruised and swollen. His lip was swollen from where Silvanus had split it, and his eye was blackened. He looked like hell. No full moon had ever made him look this dreadful. They had all made a promise to tell no one of what happened between the Professor and student. Sirius had promised, despite the fact that he believed Dumbledore asked them to keep it hushed in order to save his own ass. Did Dumbledore really want people finding out that one of his beloved staff had raped a student under his roof? Certainly not. However, Sirius actually respected Dumbledore, and therefore abided by his wishes. He had refused assistance from the Hospital Wing because he didn't want to talk about it anymore, and he didn't want to make up stories. Not only that, but he didn't want to run into that blasted Healer who was all friendly with Kettleburn. He would have gotten any help from the Marauders in relation to his injuries, but with all the commotion lately, it seemed impossible to find them. As much as Sirius wanted to get joy out of the girls' reactions to his new injuries, he actually resented the attention, and therefore locked himself away in secluded corners of the schools and frequented the room of requirement. A couple of times he had seen Emilia, but managed to tuck himself away from view before she noticed. Besides, she was usually with some other blonde girl, chatting animately, and therefore gave him the opportunity to slip away. He wanted to talk to her, but the timing of everything was all wrong. He had enjoyed the fun they shared that one night, and didn't want to give her the wrong impression. She was so, well, cool. Even if the physical stuff hadn't happened, he would have been okay with that. In all honesty, he felt extremely guilt-ridden for his somewhat sexual escapades with Emilia when - his stomach flipped at the thought of it - Lena was getting attacked. He just felt as if Emilia had some definite friend potential, and what he really needed was a friend. He needed someone to talk to who weren't involved... someone he didn't think would go running their mouth, either. Sirius wasn't sure if Remus was mad about him for that night, but it sort of felt like it. James was M.I.A a lot lately, too, and he didn't want to burden Peter when he had end of the year tests to study for. Sirius couldn't talk to Lena about it, not yet. He didn't even know what to say. He felt terrible about it, but he couldn't bring himself to face her or catch her eye, and he didn't know why. He avoided Lena most of all. He couldn't avoid her all the time, but he felt selfishly hurt whenever he was around her. Sirius was walking aimlessly through the corridors. He never thought he would find the day where any of the Marauders couldn't comfort him or console him. For the first time ever, Sirius actually felt alone with his thoughts, and he wasn't even the one victimized (despite his obvious injuries). Sirius had been walking for a while when he heard a familiar voice. He looked up to see Emilia and her friend walking towards him. He instinctively pushed his way into the first room with an open door, which happened to be the library. He still couldn't justify why he was avoiding Emilia. Perhaps he didn't want the questions. He didn't want questions where it wasn't his place to answer. He had seen her in some classes, of course, and she had given him strange looks, but she didn't ask. Of course she didn't. The first thing he noticed when he turned from the corridor was Lena sitting at a table. Sirius felt his stomach drop. He knew he wasn't being fair to her. There was no reason to be avoiding her. Well, actually there was - he didn't know how to deal with the emotions. It was selfish, it was insecure, but that was Sirius. He couldn't help it, but when he looked at her, he was reminded of Silvanus. He knew he couldn't tell her that. It was so wrong, and it disgusted himself. Everything was disgusting Sirius, and he just didn't know how to deal with it. Using up all the Gryffindor courage that apparently had vanished from Sirius since his altercation with the older man, Sirius approached her. He sat next to her, but didn't say a word and just stared down at his hands in almost an embarassed fashion. What was he supposed to say? He couldn't even look at her. TAGGING. LENA. WORDCOUNT. 787. Hope it's alright even though there's no dialogue haha. TEMPLATE BY OH SO COOPERNATURAL ! @ CAUTION.

[Lena Marie Becket]

Lena was deep into her studying of the effects of wormwort in potions: which potions did it help and which did it ruin? It was a pretty vast topic because there was so many potions that she had to study to be able to write about. So as she studied, she had a list next to the current book. The list was cut off into sections. One for listing the potions it helped, with a subsection of how, and the other was a list of the potions it ruined and how. Her quill idly scratched across the parchment as she read, her eyes not having to leave the pages of the book in order to write down what she needed to. This talent was a blessing when it came to the amount of studying she usually did. In the back of her mind she knew she didn’t have much longer before she would have to head to dinner, but she didn’t give it much thought, planning on her wands alarm to tell her when it was time to go.

Feeling her back getting tense from leaning over her books so long she let out a soft groan and set her quill down temporarily to rub her lower back then up to the back of her neck, trying to ease some of the pain. With that done she went back to reading before she heard someone coming around behind her, close, and her head lifted in curiosity, wondering who was coming over. Maybe it was Remus come to make sure she actually got to dinner? But it ended up being Sirius. Her brown eyes widened slightly in surprise as she watched him sit down next to her. A smile of shy happiness slid onto her lips, glad to see him even if her insides felt all awkward and everything was still a little weird between then. That was when she noticed how he was sitting, just staring down at his hands and the smile immediately turned into a frown. Going by pure instinct without even contemplating not to, she reached across and laid her hand on one of his, leaning in toward him a little bit. “Sirius? Is something wrong? I mean….I know we haven’t talked much in a few days but you know I’ll listen if you need to talk about anything.” Lena just hoped she would be able to help. It hurt her seeing him so upset like that.

this is for SIRIUS! it came out to be a lovely 410 words long, and my character is wearing something like CLOTHES. Hope this works.. The thread template was made by GREEN EGGS AND SAM! of caution 2.0 and the lyrics in the text are from forget paris.

[Sirius Black!]

[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=style,padding-left:16px; padding-top:0px; padding-right:0px; padding-bottom:0px; background-image:url(http://i51.tinypic.com/2nbr3oi.jpg) ] & you can tell the world that you're tired but your excuses, they won't work - - - - - - - - - - - - - - Sirius managed to watch Lena write while reading for a scarse few moments before she realized he was there. Lena was a bundle of things that Sirius was unable to be: a good, studious student and someone who could multi-task. The thought almost made him smile. She was almost the complete polar opposite of him, and he always felt like she kept him grounded. But if she was the opposite of him, did that mean that he did the opposite of ground her? Was that what she wanted? Sirius hadn't been able to bring himself to talk to his mates about his potential feelings for Lena that he was beginning to accept. He figured that they knew he fancied her a little bit, or that he was trying to shag her, but he never let anything slip. It wasn't their business, and unlike James, Sirius felt no desire to make his emotions about a girl known. Why bother? Why gloat about having feelings? Sirius never knew James' justifications for advertising his 'hidden' love for Lily. Besides, Sirius wanted to strip himself of any emotions that could mean that he'd be tied down. It really wasn't what he wanted, even if he couldn't help his feelings for Lena. It was so much harder to do when he saw her every day. It was the magic of being sorted into the same house and year. Then again, he didn't see Emilia as much as he saw Lena, but that could have everything to do with the fact that Lena was close with Remus and mostly only Gryffindors while Emilia's best friend appeared to be some Ravenclaw. Sirius was pleased when she smiled at him, however, despite all of his conflicting thought processes. He couldn't help but mirror her facial expression, even if it hurt his face to do so. For some reason it was like he thought that Lena would never be happy again. Or was she happy? Blimey, Remus was always better at this reading emotions stuff. Sirius felt completely lost as if he was suddenly expected to know Ancient Runes. He was rather surprised when she placed a hand on top of his, and he instinctively almost pulled his hands away as if she didn't really want to be touching him. His smile had only been temporary. Wait, who was the only who had been attacked again? He didn't really know how to answer her, but he managed to come up with something rather quickly. It was the quick wit of a Marauder. "It sort of hurts to do anything with my face," he explained, rather lamely. He became extremely aware in that moment that he didn't want to talk about anything and that he would have rathered just disappeared down the hallway in the opposite direction of both girls. Childish? Certainly. "What are you working on?" he asked, hoping that she would take the bait. He didn't want to acknowledge that they hadn't spoken in a long while, because he knew it was his fault. He was completely aware that he had been avoiding her. Sirius looked at her paper in an interested fashion, but could care less about what she had written. He could feel so much tension between them that he was surprised it wasn't actually pushing them apart from each other. He wasn't sure if Lena felt it as well, or if he was being ridiculous. Maybe it was a mixture of both? "Have you seen Remus lately?" he asked, abruptly, mainly because he was genuinely curious. If he hadn't seen Lena lately, it was probably about the same for Remus. Besides, he was sort of wondering if they had been comforting each other, because Lena seemed strangely fine. He kind of half-expected her to just see him and burst out crying - then again, that wasn't Lena's style whatsoever. TAGGING. LENA. WORDCOUNT. 644. TEMPLATE BY OH SO COOPERNATURAL ! @ CAUTION.

[Lena Marie Becket]

While she had mentally been preparing for a lot of things, that reply had definitely not been a possibility. She had been thinking it could be anything from him and Remus getting into another fight, to him getting detention when he would rather do something else, even to him getting a bad grade on a lesson. So the highly unusual complaints about it hurting his face to do any type of facial expression, made her sit up a bit straighter in curiosity and worry. “It hurts to do anything to your face? Sirius, are you still in pain from the other night? Shouldn't it be healed by now?”. She was more focused now, her gaze roaming over his face, trying to figure out all the damage. There had been a fight between him and Kettleburn but the professors attacks should have eased off by now. Especially if he had gone to the nurse.....but of course he wouldn't have. Lena let out a sigh as she remembered the nurse was a friend of Kettleburn's and so Sirius was probably refusing to go and get something to help. "Do you want me to try and find a good healing spell to help with the pain? I don't want to try a potion because I wouldn't want to risk it, but you could maybe see if Remus would make one. If you wanted to go that route."

Her life had been hell for months. She didn’t want Sirius’ life to be worse now. Not after she already felt horrible for him finding out about her and Kettleburn and then him getting hurt by the professor and that he was obviously still hurting. Though she did notice him changing the topic, Lena let it go. It was just easier to do that then try and hash things out and them end up in a fight. Did it make her a coward that that was what she was most focused on avoiding? Her bare shoulders shrugged as she let out a soft puff of air that was mostly a sigh and fell back into the cradle of the chair. “Potions. I need to know all I can about wormwort and so I was just trying to make a list of information about it to help me study for the exams.” Which, probably made her sound like a big, boring fuddy-duddy to Sirius. She had to bite back a half laugh, half sigh at how obvious it was that she was a complete nerd. At least he was probably used to it because of Remus. They were equal on the nerd scale.

The longer they sat together the heavier the air felt and Lena couldn't help but feel her belly twitch with it, worried about what might be wrong. Had someone said something to him about her being a whore or something? Because it wouldn't surprise her if somehow the school found out about her accusing, not that she really did but still, a well liked professor of rape. She personally hadn't heard anything like that but maybe it was just being hidden from her. Automatically she started biting her bottom lip, worrying it, slowly building up into a ball of stress. Remus could kill her later. She wasn't going to dinner now. There was no way she would be able to eat with her stomach in knots like it was. She started to ask what was happening, her hand on the table balling into a little fist, when his random question knocked her focus out and Lena blinked at him stupidly for a moment before shrugging. "I don't know. I haven't seen him today so he's probably studying somewhere else. I was supposed to meet him for dinner but, well, I don't think I'll be doing that now. I'm not really hungry right now."

this is for SIRIUS! it came out to be a lovely 615 words long, and my character is wearing something like CLOTHES. Hope this works.. The thread template was made by GREEN EGGS AND SAM! of caution 2.0 and the lyrics in the text are from forget paris.